


Hiywan's Story

by stormwreath



Series: Hiywan's Story [1]
Category: Buffy the Vampire Slayer
Genre: Coming of Age, Drama, Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2007-02-01
Updated: 2009-04-22
Packaged: 2017-10-02 14:40:27
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 8
Words: 24,259
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7492
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/stormwreath/pseuds/stormwreath
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"I have no speech. No name. I live in the action of death. The blood-cry, the penetrating wound. I am destruction. Absolute. Alone."<br/>'Hiywan's Story' gives the First Slayer back her voice, and allows us to hear her story in her own words for the first time.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Hiywan's Story**

_I am dead. My mortal body decayed to dust and ash more years ago than I can count. But the death of the body is not the true death; they teach us that the soul is imperishable. They are wrong. My soul has died not once but a thousand times; each lifetime leaving its mark, like the trace of limestone in a drop of water that over aeons can fill a cave with stone teeth. The fangs of time tore my own memories from me: my self, my identity, even my name was lost. I became Death, living only in the bodies of my daughters, my sisters, my fellow-victims. Sharing their lives; sharing their deaths as they became my own. We were chained to service, pinned down by the weight of the world on our backs, Death forced to serve Life. Or was it the other way around? _

_Then the chain was broken. In my own short life in this world I had no children of my own, not like my cousin Esyete, and now I can remember the envy I felt for her; but no mother now could be prouder of her daughters. Warriors of the people, guardians of humanity, giving their lives to protect this world; each of them a hero, but none greater than the last of them. Shining golden, she dared to fight even me — or rather against the empty shadow of myself that was all that remained after a hundred hundred deaths tore my soul to tattered cloth in the wind. And at the end she found the way to liberate us all, break the chain that bound us over so many lifetimes. We were freed to share our gifts with our sisters at last. And when our lives were returned to us, I discovered, all unknowing, her greatest gift to me was myself. My soul, my memories, my life; all were returned to me; and I even remembered my name. I am Hiywan, and this is my story._

* * *

I was born in the Five Trees clan, which dwelt in the great Valley that cut through the Wide World. The men of our clan bore its mark on their right shoulderblade, five vertical lines scored into their living flesh as part of their manhood and adoption rites. I can remember as a child being jealous of this tattoo — after all, was I not a daughter of the Five Trees too? So I persuaded my cousin Esyete to paint the mark on my back with the white mud that lies along the lake shore. Of course, my parents were furious when they saw it, and Mother gave me a thorough thrashing — Esyete got off with a milder punishment, because even then the adults knew I would have been the ringleader in any trouble.

But afterwards, as I sat crying and whimpering at the edge of the camp, Grandmother Heran came to me and put a comforting arm around my shoulders, whispering that I need not envy the men's secrets. That when I was old enough, there was a far greater secret she could show me, if I proved worthy. One known to the women of the clan alone. When I asked her what it was, she just chuckled and asked me if I knew the meaning of the word 'secret'. But then she added something strange, that I remembered for a long time: "Not all the women of the clan are strong enough to bear the mark, Hiywan. Your mother wasn't. But you — you are the strongest I have ever seen. I fear your destiny will take you far from here, and there is much darkness in it; but also much to be proud of. Let the men have their brands of courage and their search for glory. You will do us a far greater service." Then she just smiled at my torrent of new questions, and gave me a little shake and told me to come back to the fire and eat my supper.

Of course back then the Valley was my entire existence, and I never dreamed of leaving it. I thought the Wide World was just a nighttime story; a place where gods and spirits stalked the great empty plains, and sent their familiar demons into the Valley to torment the people of the Five Trees. Certainly the demons were real enough. When I was six, three men of the clan were torn apart by a great fanged beast that entered our territory, and all the grown-ups were frightened and panicking. But then Grandmother Heran did something — we children were never told exactly what, but that monster never came back. Its friends did, though.

I had a little sister called Biftu; we played together, and whatever I did, she tried to do better than me. Some evenings we'd stay outside the camp, daring each other to wait as the sun slipped down behind the walls of the Valley and darkness spread across the land, before we ran giggling and breathless back to the safety of the shelter. Our parents would be angry then, with a note of fear behind their anger and their punishments, but we were children and didn't understand the danger.

Then one night Biftu crept out of the shelter by herself, because she wanted to do something I'd never done.

We found her sleeping furs empty the next morning, and cold. I wasn't worried at first, just jealous of what she'd done and wishing I'd thought of it first. But as the day wore on and she didn't come back, I started to get frightened. Mother seemed more angry than I'd ever seen her before; she was shouting and screaming at my father, but there were tears in her eyes as she did. He in turn seemed unnaturally quiet, but he gripped the haft of his spear so hard that it broke in two. Then without saying another word he stalked away, and borrowed another spear from his brother; and together with some of the other warriors they marched out of the camp, grim and silent, with spears and axes in their hands.

They didn't come back until late, and this time the fear I felt as the sun set was cold terror instead of excited anticipation. But they did return, all of them safe, and I sneaked close so I could hear what they reported to our chieftain Belaye. I didn't understand much of it, but they talked about 'nightwalkers', and said they found the holes they'd dug to last out the day; and one bit I understood only too well. They'd found the amulet Biftu always wore around her neck; but the cord was broken, and soaked through with blood. My sister's blood.

And so later that night my mother took me on her lap and gripped me tightly, and told me through her tears that Biftu wasn't coming back. The next day we held the funeral rites for her, even though there was no body to burn. But Grandmother stayed up all night making a clay doll, and Mother tied the amulet around its neck, and kissed it on its cold lips and called it her daughter; and then the men of the clan lifted it onto the pyre and Belaye lit it, calling on Tiruneh the Great Spirit to take and guard the soul of the beloved daughter of the Five Trees.

But Mother was wrong. Biftu did come back.

It was three nights later. I was lying in my furs, pretending to sleep, but I knew if I closed my eyes only nightmares would follow. And I heard someone whispering my name. Someone outside the shelter.

I crept to the door, careful not to wake the adults of the clan as they lay huddled and asleep on the floor. Twitching aside the corner of the deerskin that covered the doorway, I peeped out. A full moon hovered high in the velvet sky, turning all the land to bleached white and deep shadow. Then one of the shadows moved, and I saw my sister standing out under the moonlight. She was smiling at me.

"Hello, Hiywan. Come and play with me!"

"Biftu? But you're… they said you weren't coming back."

She giggled. "Silly! Of course I came back for you. I've been having lots of fun. Come on!" She beckoned urgently.

"I - I don't think I should. Mother will be angry. You should come and talk to her. She's been crying a lot."

She hesitated. "I think I have to stay outside. They said… But if you want me to come in, I will. Can I come into the shelter with you, Hiywan?"

That puzzled me. "Biftu, you live here. You don't need me to invite you in."

"But I'm from another clan now. I'm a visiting princess from the Nightwalker clan. I'm bringing presents. So you have to do it properly. Go on — tell me I can come in!"

I smiled. We'd often played this sort of game. "But I can't. If you're a princess, then only Belaye can offer you our clan's hospitality. It wouldn't be right for me to do it."

To my surprise, a flash of real anger seemed to flicker across her face; then it was gone, and my sister was grinning back at me. "So pretend! If I can be a princess, you can be our chieftain. Ask me in!"

"Oh, all right! Princess Biftu, in the name of the Five Trees Clan I —" As I spoke my sister edged forward, and the moonlight shone full on her face. Something in her expression caused my throat to close around the words I was about to speak. It was a hungry look; the look I'd seen in the faces of a pride of lions waiting for their prey's struggles to cease. It frightened me; it repelled me.

I shook my head in denial. "Sorry. I don't want to play this game any more."

She stamped her foot in rage. "You meanie! You never let me have any fun! Why won't you ask me in?"

"Biftu, what happened to you the other night? Who are the nightwalkers? What did they do to you?"

"I'll show you if you like. Come on, it'll be fun!" The happy smile had returned to her face. "I'll take you to them. They'll like you, I know!"

I hesitated. Something was seriously wrong here, I knew; but this was my sister. My baby sister, who'd just been off having adventures that I didn't know about, doing things I'd never done. I was jealous. I was the elder: I was supposed to be the one to lead, while she ran laughing behind me trying to keep up. I wanted so badly to go with her, see what she'd found out.

"Well, all right. As long as it's not far; I have to be back before everyone wakes up." And with those words, I pushed aside the curtain and stepped out into the night air.

I know what you're thinking. An elementary mistake, and one that I was lucky to survive. You modern Slayers learn about vampires practically at your mother's breast, and you would never do anything so stupid. But my clan knew little of the monsters that roamed the darkness, and what we did was mingled with superstition and lies. Perhaps Grandmother Heran knew more, but she kept her secrets close and only taught them to her chosen ones. But luckily for me Biftu was young too, and ignorant. Or perhaps just hungry, having not yet fed on a human since she clawed her way out of the dirt.

Before both my feet were over the threshold, my sister sprang at me, her face like an animal's, her fangs bared to tear out my throat. The impact of her body drove me back inside the shelter, landing on my backside with a thump that shocked the air out of me. But Biftu recoiled from the entrance as if she'd run into a cliff face. Her eyes burned yellow with baffled rage and she snarled with fury as she launched herself at me once more; but the mysterious barrier held. She was somehow unable to enter the shelter, and I curled my legs up to my chest and stared at her in mingled shock, fear, disgust and pity.

Then her face seemed to change, and instead of the inhuman monster she'd become my sister looked back at me once again. She was crying.

"Please, Hiywan. I'm so hungry. Please come out. Please!"

I shook my head, unable to speak. Numb.

"Please! They're cruel to me, and I want you to be with me again. I don't want to be alone. Please, Hiywan!"

Tears spilled down my cheeks, the first I'd cried since my sister left the shelter all those days earlier, but I still couldn't speak. Nor could I take my eyes away from her.

"Hiywan! You're my sister. Don't leave me. Please!"

I just sat there, unable to move, unable to speak, as the thing that had been my sister begged, pleaded and sobbed; then growled and threatened and beat against the barrier that kept her out, then broke down to whimpers and entreaties once more. All though the night, as my family slept around me and the moon climbed the sky then set again, I kept vigil. Then, as the eastern sky turned pale and colour seeped back into the grey landscape, Biftu moaned with fear and ran off into the sheltering darkness once more, looking back at me over her shoulder as she ran. She didn't come back.

I'd like to say I never saw her again, but I did. That was many years later, and it's a part of my story for another time.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Most of the names of Hiywan's people are taken from Ge'ez, an ancient language of Ethiopia and Somalia. According to local tradition, this was the oldest written language in the world, although it is now extinct except where preserved in the liturgy of the Ethiopian Church. Where I was unable to find suitable Ge'ez names, I took them from other, more modern languages from the region.
> 
> 'Hiywan' means 'source of life', and was the name given to the first woman in the Ge'ez version of the Creation story. Esyete is another Ge'ez name, but I couldn't find its meaning. 'Heran' means 'heroine', and 'Belaye' means 'man in charge'. As for Hiywan's sister Biftu, her name means 'Dawn'. :-)


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hiywan approaches adulthood and must learn some important lessons about herself - but are they the right ones?

**Hiywan's Story - Chapter 2**

After my last night with Biftu, things were different somehow. The clan moved away, to new hunting grounds on the other side of the Valley nearer Big Lake. I kept looking out for my sister; I'd think she was behind me, and turn to speak to her, but she'd be gone. Sometimes I thought I saw her watching us from the shelter of some rocks, or hiding behind a tree, but when I looked more closely it was just a trick of the shadows. I didn't tell Mother about this; I didn't talk much at all, that summer. Esyete was worried about me; I still played with her, but it wasn't the same without Biftu toddling along behind us trying to join in our games.

Then the next year, after the rains, I got a new sister. Mother called her Haset, which means 'Joy', but she didn't bring much joy to my life. In fact, I was furiously angry with Mother. I thought at first she was trying to bring Biftu back for me, which felt wrong somehow but also made me secretly pleased. But Haset just lay there and wriggled and cried a lot, and wouldn't play with me at all, and she was a horrible sister who wasn't anything like Biftu, and I hated her and I hated Mother and in fact I hated just about everybody. I even hated Esyete, because she thought Haset was wonderful and used to beg Mother to let her hold her whenever Mother's arms got tired.

So I spent a lot of time alone that year. I didn't care much; whenever my family were around I always seemed to end up fighting with them. Sitting out under the broad sky, warm wind in my face, watching the herds as they travelled down to the lake to drink was the only time I felt at peace. Mother worried about me, going out by myself like that, and with hindsight I know she was terrified of losing a second daughter to some unknown peril. At the time, though, I felt nothing but resentment at her attempts to control my life. But Father gave me a spear of my own - really only a fire-hardened stick, without the lethal stone point that the men's spears had, but still an impressive weapon for a child - and told me it was my job to stand guard over the clan and protect us all. If I saw anything dangerous, anything at all, I must run and shout and warn everybody so they could get to safety. "I know you're brave, Hiywan, but if you want to be our protector like this, you can't stay to fight whatever attacks us; it's much more important to warn the rest of the clan so the weak ones can get to safety. Do you promise?"

Of course I did promise, because Father was trusting me with something serious, and I didn't want to let him down. And it gave me an excuse to be by myself, and know I wasn't just sneaking out of doing my chores, but was doing a really important job for my whole clan. And secretly, deep in my heart, I was afraid of what happened to Biftu, and didn't want it to happen to me - though I'd never have said that aloud to anyone - and so promising to run from danger wasn't really so hard to do.

And so the year passed, and I began to recover some of my old energy; but all the clan thought I was quieter than before. I rarely spoke, and never laughed any more. I did treasure my spear, and used to practice with it whenever I could. The other girls used to laugh at me for that, and tease me for pretending to be a boy; but Grandmother Heran overheard them one time, and grew angry and scolded them. She said that while it was true the Great Spirit Tiruneh had called men the spear-wielders, it was not taboo for women to use them at need. And when some of the boys still looked as if they'd contradict her if they dared, she took the spear from one of them and hefted it thoughtfully in her hand. Now Grandmother Heran was the oldest of our clan by far, and she normally moved slowly and carefully. But as she held the spear it was as if her muscles suddenly remembered their youth and strength, and she cast her arm back then swung her whole body forward with grace and speed - if, perhaps, not as much force as one of the men might have managed. But the spear flew straight and true from her hand, and hit the tree we were using for a mark dead centre, with enough power that it took Assefa and Melesse together half the afternoon to pull it free again. The boys looked at her in shock, but my own eyes were filled with the sudden fire of possibilities, and I could swear she winked at me before turning to leave.

I'm not exactly sure what happened next, but I think Heran spoke to Ariam, the wife of Belaye our chieftain. And soon after that, Belaye gave orders that when the greatest hunters and warriors of our clan gathered the boys around them, to teach them the ways of stalking and chasing and killing, I should be allowed to join them.

I did not hesitate for a heartbeat. The tools of death came easily to my hands, as though they were born to be a part of me. I had a lot of anger inside me in those days, and I threw myself into the training and exercises with ferocious energy. Yet perhaps strangely, when it came time for me to kill my first prey - a small fawn, barely higher than my knee - I felt no hatred for it, no great satisfaction in its death, but rather a kind of vague emptiness. I was alive, it was now dead; the world continued unchanged. Mind you, I was very proud of my skill, for my spear hit it at the first shot and dealt it a fatal blow, so it died within minutes.

So I said the prayers sending its spirit back to the Antelope Mother and thanking her for her bounty, then Fekadu the hunter lent me his flint knife and watched me critically as I clumsily struggled to butcher the fawn. I'd hoped to make its fur into a new body wrap for Mother, as a kind of peace-offering; but I made such a mess of the skinning that the leather ended up good for nothing. I cried tears of silent frustration as I wiped my blood-soaked hands on the grass and gave Fekadu back his knife. But that evening my family ate meat for supper - only a tiny mouthful each, for the deer was really very small, but it had been won by my hand alone. They praised me, and I felt proud and forgot my earlier distress for a time.

Then next day I went back to Fekadu and asked him to show me what I'd done wrong, and watched his hands carefully as they worked, and swore to never embarrass myself that way ever again.

Before long I was surpassing all the boys of the clan with my skill at hunting, and there were some jealous whispers about me. I even got into a few fights, and I certainly didn't win all of them, although I always fought my hardest. In some strange way, though, after that the boys started to show me a lot of respect and even talk as though they were proud of me. I didn't become their leader or anything like that - I was too solitary, too fond of my own company to enjoy any such role - but I felt part of the clan again for the first time since my sister went away. We still had fights, but now they were more for the thrill of it than out of any anger or rivalry.

Then a new year turned around, and the oddest thing happened. All of a sudden the boys seemed much smaller than me! I was taller, had a longer reach… and that meant I could beat them in a fight without ever letting them come close enough to land any blows on me.  It was wonderful, and I took full advantage of my new power. But the women of the clan started looking at me in a funny way whenever they thought my attention was elsewhere, and then suddenly the boys were told by their parents that they weren't allowed to fight with me any more.

I was upset, and went to commiserate with my cousin Esyete. We'd grown more distant in recent years, but she was still my friend, born the same summer as me, and there were some things we could only talk about to each other. She'd never understood my love of hunting, the joy I took in fighting the boys; but as we discussed it now she giggled and said in a teasing tone of voice that she wouldn't have minded a wrestling match with Assefa herself, and she was jealous of me. I looked at her in shock, and then three things I'd seen without really noticing before became starkly clear to me. First, that my new status as a giant among the other children didn't apply to Esyete, for she had also become tall enough to still look me in the eye. Second, that calling her one of 'the other children' was no longer fully accurate. And most terrifying of all, something I'd been refusing to think about or admit to myself over the past few months: that my own body was slowly changing to mirror the alterations I was recognising in my cousin.

_'Why was that such a surprise?' you may ask. After all, we of the Five Trees clan spent our entire lives together, sleeping in the same shelters, men and women and children side by side, so what you moderns call "the facts of life" were well known to us all from infancy. But remember that we believed in the power of the spirits, in Tiruneh the Great Good One, and Tsehay the Burning Warrior, and Serkalem the Always-Living. A child became a woman when Serkalem blessed her and shared Her secrets with her. I had gone through no such ritual, and my body had no business changing like this without it. It upset my childlike trust in the world's orderliness which - though badly disturbed by Biftu's death - had never quite left me._

Esyete looked a little anxious when I explained my worries to her, but she was always calmer and more accepting than me. She was sure that if it was time for us to go through the women's initiation ceremony our parents would already be arranging it, and our bodies were just getting ready for the change. That comforted me a little, but I spent the next few days worriedly spying on the adults to see whether Esyete was right.

Instead, the next week Belaye announced that the clan would move to Five-Trees itself.

This was exciting for everybody, because the place our clan took its name from was a powerful and sacred site. Several streams emerged from caves there, in the side of the Valley's walls, and most of them offered pure, fresh water. But one of them flowed out from higher up the cliff, and landed in a pool that was sheltered by a small group of tall trees; and its water was brackish and undrinkable. That might seem like a curse; but Tsehay the Burning Warrior blessed our clan and sent His heat to slay the foul stream as it left its pool and flowed into the valley. Where the waters dried in the sun's heat they left behind glittering white crystals; and our clan gathered these as treasure. Sprinkled onto meat they could preserve it from decay for many days. We even traded the crystals with other clans, who dwelled in the Wide World beyond the Valley, exchanging them for flint and ochre. There was a low spot in the cliffs that lined the Valley near this place, and a path that led to the lands beyond; and every few years we would meet here in uneasy truce. I laughed at myself remembering how, as a young child, I'd believed that only demons dwelt in the Wide World; for now I knew that even my own father and uncle had once been part of the Red Earth clan before marrying Mother and her sister Samrawit and being adopted into the Five Trees. Esyete speculated happily that we were going to meet the Red Earth again, and maybe find ourselves husbands of our own there.

As it turns out, she was half right.

We were on the march for three days, the men with great bundles on their backs, the women carrying the children too young to walk far alone. It was a tiring and hungry time, for there was little time to hunt or gather food as we travelled. For some reason Ariam and Belaye wanted us to reach Five-Trees before the moon was full, and so we had to hurry. At last, though, the cliffs loomed high overhead, and we saw the three living trees of our clan's sacred site standing tall and proud against the sunset.  That night, Grandmother Heran told us all the story behind that. I'd heard it before, of course, but some of the younger children hadn't, and anyway, this was one of the most important legends of our clan.

She told how our ancestors had once wandered the Valley aimlessly, little better than the herds of antelope we hunted. Serkalem the Always-Living fed us with Her bounty, and loved us as Her children. But Serkalem's husband Tsehay grew angry with Her, for He wanted us to become men and women and do great deeds and live like people, not animals. He and Serkalem quarrelled, and then They fought. In his fury Tsehay threw down His great spear that burned with white fire, and struck Serkalem so She shuddered and cried out, and Her tears of pain flooded the land. The spear hit one of the five trees that grew in this place, and the fiery heat of Tsehay's anger caused it to burst into flames. But the bravest of our ancestors, by name Adamu, crept closer and took some of the fire for himself. That was the true start of our clan, for with fire we could harden our spears, and keep the predators distant, and cook our food, and keep warm at night. Adamu kept the fire as his sacred trust, nestled in a crude jar of clay and fed regularly with grass and twigs, glowing dull red until he blew on it to re-light the fire each time we settled in a new camp, then taking one of the coals from the dying fire as we left the camp to keep safe once more. When he died he passed the fire to his son, and so the clan prospered.

But now came the dark part of the tale. We shivered in anticipation, and huddled closer together as Heran stood before our own burning campfire. Because one of Adamu's descendants had failed in his trust, and let the fire go out, and so almost doomed us to extinction. Heran told us his name was now lost, because everyone had refused to speak it thereafter, and it would be the worst bad luck to give any new child that name. For forty days the clan had shivered in the darkness, and eaten its food raw, and prayed to Tiruneh the Great Spirit for mercy. But at last the clan elders decided that only the blood of the traitor would appease the spirits. They seized him, and took him to the sacred grove, and made a framework of branches. He was tied to it spreadeagled, and raised up so that his death would not pollute Serkalem the Mother, and then the men of the clan pierced him with spears, and left him there in Tsehay's sunlight to die.

For three days and nights he hung there, and we almost despaired. But then Tiruneh took pity on the Five Trees, and ordered His son Tsehay to help us. The Spirit of the Sun threw His spear down once more, and the second of the trees burst into flames, and Serkalem wept in anguish. But this time it was the women of the tribe who took charge of the fire, and ever since that day it has been the responsibility of the chieftain's wife to guard and tend it. We all turned to look at Ariam, who stared back at us proudly, then Heran clapped her hands and urged us all to go and get some rest.

As the clan dispersed to find the sleeping furs, I went up to Grandmother Heran and whispered "If there are five trees, does that mean we get three more chances if the fire goes out again?" She seemed shocked, and boxed my ears for impertinence, but I could swear she was hiding a grin and the blow didn't hurt all that much. But then she looked more serious, and said, "I don't think Belaye would be pleased if we had to sacrifice his wife to the spirits. And I certainly don't think Ariam would like the idea."

"Why not? If you die to save the entire clan, isn't that a good thing?"

She frowned at me. "Death is never a good thing. It's a waste."

"I don't agree. I kill things all the time; when I got that big antelope last month you all praised me for it. And you ate some of the meat yourself! So if someone hurt the clan, really hurt us, why shouldn't they die too? Especially if killing them would bring the fire back. I'd do it myself."

"Would you?" The look she gave me now was deadly serious. "Hiywan, do you enjoy killing?"

I shrugged, and was about to give a flippant answer when something in her manner warned me. I thought back to my first slaying, how the fawn's blood had covered my hands. I thought about my sister. And my answer when it came was low-voiced and hesitant.

"I- I don't enjoy it. But I think it's right. I think some deaths are necessary, because… because they help us survive. Because they keep us alive. Because some things are meant to be - and some things are not."

I felt Grandmother's searching expression piercing me through. In the flickering firelight I couldn't tell if her stare was accusing or approving.

"So you're willing to kill. But are you willing to die?"

A cold shiver went through me at her tone. I remembered my sister's voice whispering in the darkness, calling my name. My answer was low but determined.

"Yes. If I had to… if it was the right thing to do. There are… there are some things much worse than dying."

Grandmother stared at me a little longer, then nodded abruptly and told me to go and sleep.  I felt as though I'd just been through the most important test of my life.

But whether I'd passed or failed, I had no idea.


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "I recognised a wildebeest's thighbone, split open to reach the marrow. But old, very old - perhaps dating back to when our clan last lived here. Just somebody's meal. Somehow, that thought wasn't as comforting as it might have been. I pressed on, slowly now, as the daylight from the cave entrance faded behind me and the red light of the torches danced along the walls and made the shadows flicker."

**Chapter Three**

As the sun rose next morning we made our way down to Five-Trees itself. The grove, as a sacred place of Tsehay, was taboo to us children and the women; but we gathered just outside it as Belaye led the men twice around the pool then, slicing his palm with a flint knife, let five drops of blood fall onto the blackened stump of the fourth tree. I looked curiously for the remains of the fifth, but nothing was left of it now; Mother pointed out a small cluster of young saplings and undergrowth and told us that was where it once stood.

The men used their axes to fell two of these saplings, then bound them together with corded grass into Tsehay's sacred symbol; the two rays stretching out through the heavens, the third reaching up to His father Tiruneh and the fourth and longest striking down to the earth and linking Him to His wife Serkalem. Chanting a song, the men hoisted the cross vertical and lashed it between two of the standing trees; but what they did next I don't know, because the adults picked that moment to shoo us away. "Men's magic", said Grandmother Heran, "and not meant for our eyes."

Instead, we walked along the base of the cliff for a few hundred paces, crossing the little rills of fresh water that poured from the caves dotting the rock wall. Eventually we came to a much larger opening, that I vaguely remembered from our last stay here several years earlier. Some of the women walked up to the entrance and peered within, but Grandmother Heran hastily called them back. She conducted a brief, low-voiced conversation with Ariam, and then the chieftain's wife clapped her hands sharply and ordered the women to begin collecting firewood, while we children were tasked with gathering roots and seeds for the clan's next meal. Esyete was put in charge of supervising the children; but I, along with the oldest of the boys - Melesse, Assefa and Tilahun - were told to take our spears and stand guard.

Before long the pile of wood in front of the cave entrance grew large enough, and Ariam took out the clay pot that was our clan's most treasured possession. She sprinkled dry grass into it and blew carefully, and the surrounding women gave an 'oooh' of wonder as the coal inside turned bright red and the grass burst into tiny yellow flames. Ariam fed the fire with more tinder, then held a dry stick into the flame until it too caught fire. Giving thanks to the spirits, she used the firestick to light the woodpile. The Five Trees clan had reached its new home.

Or had it? I saw Grandmother Heran still stood between the fire and the cave entrance, watching it cautiously, not letting anyone else approach it. To my shock, I saw she was holding a spear! The dark hole in the cliff face seemed suddenly threatening, ominous. Taking a quick look around to make sure no leopards or hyenas were sneaking up on the happily chattering kids, I made my way over to where Heran kept watch, and joined her peering into the cave. She smiled when she saw me, but her voice was stern.

"Hiywan, don't you have a job to do?"

"Ariam told me to stand guard."

"So - ?"

"I am standing guard! It seems to me the biggest danger to the clan is right here in this cave. Or else why are you watching over it like this?"

She laughed. "If the peril were so great, do you think our chieftain would let an old woman like me guard it alone?"

"You're not alone now. I'm here. Besides, Grandmother, I've seen you throw a spear. You're better than a lot of the men!"

"Hah! Child, time was I was the best in the entire clan. Time was, I wouldn't be standing outside the cave waiting for the men to finish their ritual and get over here; I'd be in there now, by myself. But I've seen too many winters; my arms don't have the strength they once had."

I looked at Grandmother with something akin to shock. I'd never heard her talk like this before, and wondered what had changed to make her willing to be so open with me. Was it our conversation last night? Grandmother had always seemed so sure of herself; for all the years of my life she'd always been there. Solid, unchanging. I felt the earth shifting around under my feet, and gripped my own spear tightly as if to ease my distress.

"So let's both go in there!" I blurted. "There's two of us now; let me be your strength!"

The look in her eyes was warm, but her voice recovered some of its old strictness as she replied. "And just what do you expect us to find in that cave, Hiywan?"

"Uh, I don't know."

"So you'd just go blundering in there, not knowing who or what you might find? Hiywan, you won't be a child for much longer. If you want to become an adult, you have to learn to think like one. So think! Why can't we just go traipsing into the cave?"

The rebellious thought crept through my mind that Grandmother had stopped several of the women doing just that - walking into the cave - and weren't they supposed to be adults? But I held my tongue, and instead considered the question.

"Mmmm - I suppose - some animals might have made it their lair?"

"Good. So what should we do if that were the case?"

"Well, we've got the fire lit now. Go in with torches, drive them out of the cave. Have the spears ready in case they turn on us, but most animals run from fire. Just make sure we leave a clear path to the exit, don't hem them in."

She nodded, pleased. "So you do pay attention to your lessons sometimes. But what if it's not animals?"

I looked confused, then my eyes widened in shock. I almost took a step back, to place Heran between the cave mouth and me, then scolded myself for my cowardice. Grandmother wasn't afraid, so I mustn't show my own fear!

"You mean... there could be nightwalkers in there?"

"Perhaps. Or some other sort of demon or evil spirit. That's why we wait for the men."

I nodded in fervent agreement... but something was bothering me. "Grandmother, you said that when you were younger you'd have gone in there by yourself? _Even if the cave was full of nightwalkers?"_

It was the wrong question. I could see the barriers come down across her eyes, as if she knew she'd said too much. Her only reply was a gruff "Don't be silly. Now if you're going to stay here be quiet. An old lady like me needs to conserve her strength."

I choked back the rest of my questions and forced myself to stay silent. Pretending to watch the cave, I instead kept glancing back towards the grove, waiting for the men to appear, chanting "Come on, come on, come on" under my breath. Wondering what would happen when we went into the cave…

Of course, when Belaye did lead the rest of the clan to rejoin the women and children, I soon realised that _I_ wasn't going to go into the cave at all. I was just a kid, and it was far too dangerous. So Father said, and he ordered me to look after Haset while Mother and the other women prepared the meal and the men put together torches and grimly checked the ties on their spears and axes.

Resentfully, I took Haset down to the stream that ran out of the cave. There was white mud along the banks, and soon my little sister was happily making a mess of herself, smearing the mud everywhere. That would keep her busy for a while. Some of the other young ones had the same idea, and there were enough adults watching them that I didn't feel more than a tinge of guilt as I left her playing and stole towards the cave entrance.

The women gathered around the campfire were intent on their own business, but I hugged the cliff wall tightly then dropped onto my belly to crawl forward, doing my best not to make a sound. The skill that helped me stalk and kill prey out on the savannah now came to my aid in reaching the cave mouth without attracting the attention of Mother or my aunts. It loomed up around me, huge and threatening, and I almost turned back; but summoning up all my courage I inched forward once more.

The darkness closed in around me.

Inside, the cave seemed even larger, and I marvelled at how such a tiny stream could have carved it from the solid rock. Or maybe it didn't. Maybe I was actually entering the mouth of some giant stone beast, that would swallow… I hastily stopped my mind following that train of thought. As my eyes adjusted to the darkness, I saw that the cave opened into a wider area up ahead, then bent around a corner. Faint light glimmered from that direction, showing where the men had got to.

I picked my way over the uneven floor, around the rough rocky teeth - _stop thinking you're inside a mouth, Hiywan_ \- rocky outcroppings that were scattered around; and then my foot hit something.

I froze, as it clattered across the ground. A piece of bone.

But nothing reacted to the sound, and I bent to take a closer look. I recognised a wildebeest's thighbone, split open to reach the marrow. But old, very old - perhaps dating back to when our clan last lived here. Just somebody's meal.

Somehow, that thought wasn't as comforting as it might have been.

I pressed on, slowly now, as the daylight from the cave entrance faded behind me and the red light of the torches danced along the walls and made the shadows flicker. I was almost at the corner when a sudden sharp pain in my belly made me gasp and almost double over. It felt like a stitch, as if I'd been running for hours, but lower down, and I rubbed my stomach and twisted myself around to try and shake off the ache.

Perhaps that saved my life. There was a sudden outburst of shouting from up ahead, a terrible loud bellowing, then a horrible agonised scream that cut right through me. And then a noise like thunder hastening towards me, a clatter of hooves on rock, and a great dark hairy shape burst around the corner right where I would have been if I'd kept on walking. I had an impression of panting breath, rolling eyes and a smell of blood, and then it was past me and heading for the entrance.

Heading right for where my mother and the other women of the clan were preparing our meal, unaware of any danger.

My mysterious cramp was forgotten. I probably should have been afraid, but I didn't have time for that either. I grasped my spear and ran full tilt after the creature. Perhaps when it was silhouetted in the daylight at the cave entrance I could get a shot at it. But what would my child's spear, a mere pointed stick without a flint blade at its tip, do against a monster that had, by the sound of it, already killed at least one of the men? I couldn't think about that. I could only do my best, and pray to any spirit that would listen for its help.

And then the creature's foot caught between two stalagmites, and it tripped and fell with a bellow that echoed off the roof. It was trying to struggle back to its feet, but I didn't hesitate. No need for a chancy throw if I seized this opportunity; I aimed my spear at the base of its neck and, gripping it in both hands, sprinted towards the beast and threw my entire weight behind the blow.

Hot blood sprayed over my arms, my ears were shaken by the creature's bellow, and its death-throes tore the spear from my hands. I almost fell backwards, terrified by the violence of its convulsions. I could see two more spears now, caught in the flesh of its back; but my own had pierced up through the back of its skull into its brain. A mixture of triumph and nausea filled me, and now I did sit down with a heavy thump onto the stone floor of the cave.

That was how the men found me as they came running around the corner then, waving torches and spears. Belaye was in the lead, and he stopped so abruptly that two of the other hunters ran into him from behind. He scowled at me.

"This is no place for a child. What do you think you're doing here?"

Before I could speak, one of the other men interrupted.

"It looks like she's been doing our job for us, doesn't it?"

At that point Father pushed his way through the crowd, and came rushing over to me. "Hiywan, what happened? Are you all right? Did it hurt you?"

I shook my head. Relief and anger chased each other across his face. "Belaye's right. You shouldn't have come in here. You might have been killed! Didn't I tell you to stay with your sister? What in Tiruneh's name do you think you were playing at?"

_"But I wasn't hurt; and if I hadn't killed it myself it might have got Haset and Mother and everybody else!"_ was what I wanted to say, but somehow the words caught in my throat. I felt self-conscious in front of all the men, but a darker fire burned in my heart. A flame of resentment and anger. How dare Father scold me like this, when I'd probably just saved half the clan? It's not as if _he'd_ been able to do it. He hadn't kept his family safe. He hadn't been able to stop the nightwalkers from taking Biftu…

My head buzzed with all the tangled thoughts and feelings I wanted to scream in his face… but I didn't. I knew that if I opened my mouth I might destroy everything, so I just stared sullenly at the floor and let his words flow around me without touching me. Eventually they stopped, but I didn't look up.

Belaye had joined in now, telling Father he ought to punish me for disobeying him like that. But I was beyond caring; I just wanted to get out of there. Fighting the urge to just turn tail and run away like a little girl, I stood up and walked over to the huge corpse to pull my spear free.

"Wait." It was Rada, Melesse's father, and his voice was thick with anger and grief of his own. Something in his tone matched my own feelings, caused me to turn and listen.

"Clan sister, there is a debt I must repay." At the formal words Belaye wheeled around in shock, but Rada brushed past him and knelt before me.

Knelt.

Before me.

In his hand I saw he was holding not one spear, but two; and as I watched he lay one of them on the ground then held the other up to me. Emotion quivered in his voice, but he spoke firmly and without hesitation.

"My brother Kassa is dead, slain before his time. But his killer now lies dead too, at your hand. We owe you blood-debt."

Belaye choked in outrage, and several of the other men joined him. "You can't do this! She's just a child!"

Rada looked back over his shoulder, and his words were bitter. "This 'child', as you call her, just did what none of you _men_ could manage. That monster's horns practically tore my brother in half, and yet she killed it single-handed. I say she's worthy, and I pay my debts."

He gestured for me to take the spear. It was a man's spear, as tall as I was, and the light of the torches glinted off the facets of its long, sharp blade. It was beautiful and deadly, and I wanted it more than anything I'd ever seen before.

"This was my brother's spear. It is yours now, in payment of the blood-debt."

"Hiywan, don't you dare touch that spear! Rada, you can't give a man's weapon to a girl! It's breaking taboo!"

Perhaps some other time I would have hesitated, obeyed the words of tradition and law. But I was furious now, angry at Father, at Belaye, at the whole world of adults and rules and hypocrisy and betrayal. I reached out my hand and took the spear.

It came easily to my hand. I moved my grip down to find the point of balance, as naturally as walking. The earth did not open to claim me, no fire from heaven struck me down for my temerity. I stood there in that cavern filled with the smell of fear and blood and death, and brandished the weapon as though it was part of me. My defiance, my certainty, the focus of my anger. My identity. My destiny.

Then another mysterious cramp hit me, and I almost dropped the spear as I winced in surprise and pain...


	4. Chapter 4

**Chapter Four**

The sunlight dazzled my eyes as I emerged from the cavern, my prize gripped tightly in both hands. Behind me I could hear Belaye ordering the men around, telling them to drag the beast's corpse out of there, and to bring Kassa's body for his funeral. He sounded annoyed and frustrated, and I really didn't want to stay around him a moment more than I had to. The women were gathered around the cave entrance, nervous curiosity in their eyes, but they fell back before me and didn't try to stop me as I stalked out. I'd like to think it was the expression on my face that deterred them, but the huge, vicious spear I was carrying and the fact that I was covered head to toe in the creature's blood might have had something to do with it too.

Instead, some obscure sense of duty took me to the stream where I'd left Haset, wanting to check she was all right. I found her playing a noisy and energetic game with a group of the other young children, and quite as messy as me - although covered with mud, not blood. She spotted me standing and watching and waved happily up at me, and I found myself smiling at her almost in spite of myself. When she called me over to join her, though, I shook my head and plucked gingerly at my body wrap, which was starting to turn stiff and clammy against my skin, then pantomimed washing it. She giggled at that, and went back to her game without a care in the world.

I envied her.

Walking down the stream until the busy noise of my clan faded into the background, I found a still, deep pool. Here several of the watercourses from the cliff met and mingled their waters, before flowing together down to Big Lake. I carefully checked the surrounding undergrowth for lurking dangers, then leaned my precious spear gently against a tree. I stepped into the water and reached behind me to unfasten my wrap, letting it splash down into the pool. Naked now, I enjoyed the contrast of coolness around my legs and warmth on my back then crouched down to let the water cover me.

The creature's blood reluctantly loosed its hold on my skin and sluiced away into the streamwater, turning the pool crimson around me. I reached over to grab my clothes, and started trying to rinse the blood out of them. My hands turned bright red, but the blood was stubborn, and I couldn't get it out, scrub as hard as I could. There was just so much of it, blood everywhere, and it was covering me, it was all around me and I couldn't escape from it and suddenly my hands were shaking so badly I could hardly hold onto the wrap, and I couldn't see it for the tears that were blinding me.

I don't know how long I crouched there, rocking backwards and forwards in the water, trembling from head to foot, shapeless terrors ghosting through my brain, until a gentle voice calling my name finally broke through my misery.

It was Mother, standing there on the bank, a world of love and concern and… regret? - shining in her eyes. She held out her arms to me, and careless of my nudity, my soaked state or my almost-adult dignity, I threw myself into them. She held me close, whispering words of comfort until my crying and shivering calmed. She told me that she was proud of me; that Father was too, and he'd only been angry because he was worried about me. I wasn't exactly sure how that was supposed to work, but I wasn't going to spoil things by saying so... especially since there was a bittersweet quality - a vulnerability, almost - about Mother that I didn't remember ever seeing before. She held me at arm's length, studying me carefully; I was shocked to realise that I was almost as tall as she was. But then she shook her head and smiled, and said "You're not my baby anymore, Hiywan. Remember, whatever happens in the next few days, I love you, and I trust you, and I'm proud of you. We both are. Remember that."

Of course that triggered all sorts of new questions for me, but Mother wouldn't answer; all she'd say was that I'd know more when the time came. Then she saw the wrap I'd been trying futilely to clean, and gave me a look filled with compassion and understanding.

"There's a… trick to getting blood out of clothing, dear. Come on, I think I'd better show you how."

By the time we returned to camp, Kassa's pyre was already almost ready. It was the law of our people not to delay a funeral a moment longer than necessary, because bad spirits might come and claim the body once its owner had departed. So the entire clan had turned out to collect wood, and Grandmother was conducting the rites to ensure Kassa's soul found its way safely to Tiruneh. Rada with his family stood in sombre silence next to the pyre, and he motioned me to join them. Melesse gave me a wan but brave smile, and Rada put his hand briefly on my shoulder before turning back to watch over his brother.

Then Belaye led the funeral ritual, and thrust his torch deep into the pyre; then as custom demanded we all turned our backs on it and walked away. Next morning, when the fire had died down, Rada would return to sift through the ash and find the most intact fragments of bone to make into an amulet, so his brother's strength and courage would not leave the clan. But now, having acknowledged Tsehay's power of death it was our duty to honour Serkalem and her gifts of life. The scent of the evening meal wafted over the breeze from the cookfire, and despite all the horror and grief of the day, I felt ravenously hungry.

Not to mention surprised. We hadn't had chance to hunt yet since reaching Five-Trees, so where was that delicious smell coming from? The mystery resolved itself soon enough when Ariam - despite the glower of her husband - presented me with the champion's portion, the heart of the beast. I felt mortified and horribly self-conscious in front of the gathered clan, wanting only to take my meal and scurry away to a dark corner to eat in private, but instead I had to listen to the congratulations and praise of the hunters. At least they sounded genuine, and not like they were making fun of me. However, that wasn't the biggest of my concerns.

As I sat down next to Esyete, Assefa and Tilahun, I whispered urgently "I thought we weren't supposed to eat demon bodies? What if we turn into monsters ourselves?" Assefa laughed, and told me he thought I'd look cute with big horns growing out of my head. He then proceeded to demonstrate, complete with gestures and sound effects, what he thought that would look like - until Esyete poked him sharply in the ribs. Tilahun, although he'd started to laugh too, quickly sobered when he saw my face, and hastened to explain. "It wasn't a demon after all. Turns out it was just some big old buffalo or something. Still vicious, though."

"What? That's stupid. Buffalo don't live in caves. And what happened to the rest of its herd?"

Tilahun shrugged. "Don't know. Grandmother Heran checked over the corpse; apparently there were a bunch of old scars around its neck, like bite marks or whatever. My guess is it got attacked by something, maybe hyenas, and ran for shelter in the cave, then got stuck and couldn't get out again."

"That doesn't make sense. If the scars were old, how long had it been in there? What did it eat?"

"Who cares? Now _we're_ eating _it_. Or at least I am. If you don't want that, I'll be happy to…"

"Hey, get off!" I slapped his hand away, and there was much giggling, and I forgot my worries for a while.

But a nagging feeling of uneasiness remained, and came back full force as we lay down inside the cave that night. Perhaps it was just the greater sense of space; our usual wood, earth and turf shelters were, well, cosy for a clan of 80 or so people. Here, though, we had enough room to find our own spots to sleep, spread out through the cavern; and the echoing emptiness seemed to swallow the soft sounds of breathing, snores and sighs. I shivered, not entirely from cold. But the glow of the fire in the entrance, and the pacing shadows of the sentries, reassured me; and no demons rose from the depths to claim us. Eventually, I drifted off to sleep.

Next morning dawned bright and clear, and the clan was a bustle of activity, as if to shake off the ill omens of our arrival. One of the best things about moving to a new camp was always that we didn't have to walk far to find food: we could almost just reach out the door of the shelter to gather the roots, seeds and berries to feed ourselves. That left plenty of time for story-telling, crafts and games. I watched some of the younger children playing stalk-the-buffalo: one child stood facing the cliff wall, while the others tried to creep up behind him. Every now and then he'd spin around, and the 'hunters' had to freeze in place. If the 'buffalo' saw one of them move, he'd shout and point to alert his herd and the unlucky hunter would have to go back to the starting line. Eventually, though, one of the stalkers would get close enough to strike the buffalo between the shoulders. Then there was a mad, screeching panic to escape back to the start line, while the mortally wounded buffalo tried to chase down and capture his slayers. If he managed to grab one of the hunters before he reached the safety of the line, that child had to become the new buffalo for the next round of the game.

It was good practice for the hunt, but having now faced the real thing I didn't feel much urge to join in with the game. Instead, I decided to practice with my new spear. The precious flint blade was too fragile and valuable to risk throwing it against trees or rocks, but perhaps I could untie it and fix a plain rock of the same general size in its place as a temporary substitute, so the spear would have the same balance? I was just making up my mind to do it when the hunter Degu came running into the campsite shouting, and all thoughts of practice fled my brain.

There were strangers coming!

Belaye quickly shouted down the excited buzz of questions, and demanded a clear explanation of what Degu had seen. There was a general gasp of mingled fear and anticipation when he revealed that a crowd of over thirty hands of people was making its way down the cliff path from the Wide World into the Valley. That was twice as many as our entire clan! Were they friendly or hostile? Were they here to steal our hunting grounds, or to trade peacefully? For that matter, were they even human?

Amidst the turmoil, I was perhaps the only one to see something curious. The chieftain looked over to where Grandmother Heran sat next to the campfire, and met her eyes. She gave a tiny, almost imperceptible nod of her head, and then Belaye turned back to the milling crowd and started giving his orders. The authority in his voice soon calmed people down, and we set to work making preparations. Everybody too young, too old, too crippled or too pregnant to fight was sent into the cave; everyone else hurriedly fetched their favourite weapon and assembled on the flat area below the cliffs. Belaye ordered the warriors to gather in front, right behind him; as he made his way through the throng chivvying people into position he caught sight of me standing there cradling my new weapon. He sighed a little and shook his head, but then pointed me towards the front and said gruffly, "You too, girl. Put that spear of yours to some use."

And so, equal parts thrilled and terrified - and not a little embarrassed at being grouped with the men - I marched at the forefront of our clan to meet the invaders.

Belaye's plan was to confront them at the largest of the streams that emerged from the caves, which would put our warriors between the strangers and our new home. As we reached it he ordered us to spread out along the banks of the watercourse, and some of the older men nodded wisely at this. I didn't like to draw too much attention to myself - I was secretly nervous about being ordered back to the cave with the children, and I didn't want to miss this for the world - but Fekadu the hunter must have noticed my puzzled look and took pity on me.

He explained how an enemy wading across the stream would be slowed down, and would have to watch his feet or risk slipping on the stones; and so a warrior standing above him on the bank would have the advantage. For that reason, it made sense to block any of the strangers from getting across the stream. My eyes lit at his words; I'd given lots of thought to stalking and killing individual prey, of course, but this business of fighting large numbers of  enemies at the same time was completely new to me. It seemed there was a lot I had to learn. My mind buzzed with questions, and one in particular nagged at me. What if it were the other way round? What if you were the ones having to cross the stream? When I asked Fekadu he just shrugged, and gave me a quelling glare. "You don't. Or you find another place to cross."

Any further questions I wanted to ask were blocked as he turned away from me, so I was left to work on the problem by myself. You couldn't really sneak across, unless it was very foggy. Perhaps if you all rushed at once? Or if everybody ganged up on just one small group of the enemy, and tried to defeat them and get across before the rest of them could run up?  Or maybe - I was getting excited now - you could throw lots of rocks at the rival tribe, and force them to back away from the edge of the stream?

But my speculation was cut brutally short as the strangers advanced around the corner of the cliff and came into full view. There really were an awful lot of them. I shivered violently, and my stomach seemed to be trying to clench itself into a fist. As they came closer I saw they were formed up much like us, with warriors in front. Not one but two chieftains strode proudly at their head, and I realised I was seeing an alliance of two clans. Such things were unheard of except in legends!

Had they come to seize our sacred places? Take us as slaves? I'd never killed a human before. I wondered if it would be different. I wondered if I'd be able to do it.

I tried very hard _not_ to wonder if one of them would kill me.

I gripped my spear and waited as they marched up to their side of the stream.


	5. Chapter 5

**Chapter Five**

Silence spread through our ranks as we watched the strangers approach, their feet kicking up dust as they spread out opposite us across the stream. Belaye stepped forward to meet them, and for all I begrudged his rigid views I felt a stir of pride in our chieftain then. To face such numbers without flinching! He stood at the water's edge, called out his challenge, and the two leaders of the strangers strode out to meet him.

They named themselves chieftains of the Red Earth and Lion's Tooth clans, reciting their names and heritage, and demanded to know with whom they were dealing. Belaye replied in his turn, speaking proudly of the bravery and strength of the people of the Five Trees. I could sense the men around me relaxing slightly at the familiar words and lack of hostile actions, although nobody put down his spear or turned his back on the newcomers just yet.

They were replying now, boasting of their own clans' mighty deeds, and every now and then the warriors behind them would wave their spears and shout and cheer in support. So of course Belaye had to make another longer speech of his own, and all our men yelled and stamped their feet and clashed their axes and spears together, trying to make even more noise than the huge crowd of strangers. I joined in too, not wanting to let down my clan, but I couldn't help thinking that it was all a bit silly. If these people were enemies we should be attacking them; and if they were friends, what was the point of posturing and shouting like children? My mind wandered; I only half-listened to the chieftains' speeches and instead ran my eyes along the ranks of strangers in curious interest.

They didn't look much different to our own people, to be honest. Same size, same number of arms and legs. None of them had tails, none of them seemed to be breathing fire. Some of them had odd red smears on their chests and faces, and after a moment I realised those must be the Red Earth clan. I wondered what the Lion's Tooth people did to mark out their men - surely they didn't gather actual lions' teeth? That would be recklessly brave. Unless they found an old lion separated from his pride, perhaps. Maybe you could trap one; dig a pit, use a dead zebra for bait? It was an interesting challenge - I got so caught up working out the details that I almost missed my cue next time we all had to yell and wave to prove how tough we were to the warriors opposite.

I wondered if any of the strangers were as bored as I was. They all seemed to be watching their chieftains respectfully, when they weren't doing their own yelling. I did notice one young man, taller than his companions, who seemed especially enthusiastic when he shouted and stamped. His long hair wasn't braided like the others around him, and swung around his face as he shook his spear. I suddenly imagined myself running my hand through that hair, pushing it gently back from his face and tangling my fingers in its knots. An unfamiliar warmth kindled within me. It was frightening and confusing, and I looked away from him hastily, searching for distraction.

It didn't work. I wanted to look back at him, and I didn't know why. A rogue memory came to me: Father was a child of the Red Earth clan before he married Mother. Had she stood here in my place before I was born, watching some different strangers with the same fear and need as me? I felt my face heat, wondered if my embarrassment was as obvious to those around me as I felt it should be.

I gave in. I sneaked another look at him, admiring the flow of his muscles as he brandished his spear, then almost collapsed back in panic as he turned his head in my direction. He mustn't see me! I looked away quickly, pretending to be studying the ranks of strangers each in their turn. Assessing a potential enemy, as a good warrior should.

Then one of them really did look straight back at me. Eyes caught and held my own, and an eyebrow lifted in recognition. I felt pinned and helpless, sure all my secrets were discovered. But shame kindled defiance, and I clung to my anger desperately to give me strength. I stared back at the stranger in challenge… then blinked in utter shock.

The stranger was a woman.

Standing there amongst a crowd of eight hands of men as though she had every right in the world to be there, holding a man's spear with a casual yet practiced grip. Which, of course, was pretty much what I was doing myself… but there were special circumstances in my case! I'd had to prove myself, fight, even stand up to the chieftain in front of the rest of the clan! I'd earned my place; what had she done? She was smiling over at me, and when she was sure I was looking she even winked at me! I fought down a surge of irrational rage. Who did she think she was? She didn't look that much older than me, and she was tiny compared to the men standing around her.

She must be some sort of mascot or something. I'd heard stories of ancestral heroes who found wolf cubs, raised them as part of their own family, and the fully-grown wolves had followed their masters around tamely and obediently. Most of the other children thought that was wonderful, and dreamed of having a pet wolf of their own to protect them and attack their enemies. I'd always thought it sounded cruel; my sympathies were with the wolf. To lose your freedom; to be forced to kill at the command of a master? Was that what this woman was? A tame wolf?

The other clans were shouting and waving their weapons again, and the strange woman joined in; but I could see a sardonic grin on her face. She met my gaze again, glanced at the men around her, and rolled her eyes ironically. I felt a matching grin touching my own lips, feeling myself for that moment in complete sympathy with the stranger, all hostility forgotten. I raised my own spear back at her in a knowing salute.

But then the interminable speeches were finally over, and the serried ranks broke up into individual knots of people, stepping forward to meet each other over the flowing stream. Many of my clanmates shouted cheery greetings to the warriors opposite, exactly as if we hadn't spent the last hour waving weapons and threatening to kill each other. It suddenly struck me that if Father had once belonged to the Red Earth clan, he must have family among them; cousins, maybe even sisters I'd never seen. I scanned their faces, curious to see if they were familiar, wondering if I would recognise my father's old family by sight. There were people everywhere, more than I'd ever seen in my life. Too many unfamiliar faces started to blur into each other. My head buzzed with confusion, the sound of a hundred voices chattering loudly filled my ears. It was too much.

I slipped away, heading back to the campsite. Ariam was in charge there, organising the pregnant and nursing mothers and the old folk to prepare the clan's midday meal. She looked a little surprised to see me, but wordlessly handed me a clay pot full of wild grass seeds and a grinding stone. I settled into the familiar routine comfortably, glad of the calm.

"So this is where you've got to!"

The unfamiliar voice made me jump, almost spilling the precious grain. I looked up, met the eyes of the strange woman from before. She was leaning comfortably on her spear, head cocked on one side as she regarded me.

"They've got you grinding seeds? That's no job for a warrior."

"I'm doing it because I want to! They can't tell me what to do - and neither can you!"

"Hey! Easy, girl." She laughed, her eyes dancing. "I'm just saying. I wouldn't do that, so why should you? Damn right nobody tells us what to do." A sly grin crept over her lips. "Unless we let them, of course."

"What are you talking about? Who's 'us'? And who are you, anyway?"

"Don't you know? I'm Haymanot, of course, of the Lion's Tooth clan. And I assume you must be the Five Trees' Guardian. Aren't you a bit young for the job?"

"The what?" I knew the word, of course, but this odd woman said it as if it were some sort of title. "You're not making any sense. What are you doing here anyway? Shouldn't you be with the rest of your clan?"

"I was hungry. I smelled cooking. And you know what they all say."

"No, I _don't_ know. You're as bad as everyone else! Nobody ever gives me a straight answer to any of my questions!"

The other woman laughed at that, but then suddenly she put her hand over her mouth in shock and looked at me really oddly. "Hey. How old are you?"

"What? What's that got to do-"

But before I could finish she dropped her spear, grabbed me by the shoulder and pulled down the front of my wrap. I was paralysed in shock as she stared at my chest. I knew I was changing in that area - and I really hoped I'd continue to change, because I'd feel really cheated if it stopped now - but this was beyond rude. Then I realised she wasn't looking at my breasts at all, but at something just above them. But what?

She stared at me for a moment, then dropped her hands as if I burned her and turned away from me. She said something harsh and violent that I didn't understand, but seemed to express her feelings perfectly.

"What's wrong?" I pulled my wrap tight again, too puzzled to be upset.

"Damn it. Forget I spoke to you. Forget everything I said."

"But I don't understand anything of what you said! Who are you? What's a Guardian?"

"None of your business. I was just fooled by you having that spear and all. What's a kid doing with a weapon like that anyway?"

Now it was my turn to be shocked and angry. I was in her face, practically spitting in my rage.

"It was a bloodgift! I killed a demon that had just slain one of our best warriors! And was about to kill all the women and children! If I hadn't killed it myself first, single handed! So don't call me a kid, because I bet you've never done anything like that!"

"Yeah? You don't know what I've done. And I can't tell you. Kid."

This was too much. I screamed "Don't call me that!" and swung at her face. But somehow she caught my fist and twisted, and I found myself lying on my back staring up at the sky in breathless surprise. But she had a cocky grin on her face that I longed to wipe off, so I swung my legs around and hooked her ankles, then jerked them back. She squealed with surprise as she plummeted to the ground, then I was on top of her, fists flying as we rolled about on the earth trading insults and punches.

But then adult hands were on our shoulders, pulling us apart, and harsh voices were scolding us for our misbehaviour. I winced in pain, cradling my arm where Haymanot's nails had raked it, and looked over at her as she gingerly rubbed her swollen lip where I'd belted her in the face. We were being ordered to apologise to each other, and as I met her eyes I suddenly caught a flash of the same sardonic amusement she'd shown before at the pretensions of the older people around her. It matched my own feelings exactly, and once again I felt that weird rush of familiarity and sympathy. I found myself smiling at her - this same girl I'd been trying to beat to a pulp only moments earlier! - and said, for the benefit of my elders, "Sorry, Haymanot."

"Yeah, whatever. I'm sorry too. Hey, I don't know your name - and I can't keep calling you kid, not when you fight as well as that."

I grinned in sheer delight. "Really? I'm Hiywan. You really think I'm good?"

"You're not bad. Still not as good as me, of course, but not bad."

"Oh yeah? We can have another go if you want. Somewhere where there aren't any grown-ups to save you from me."

"Yeah, right. I think someone needs a lesson in appreciating the skills of her elders and betters. But first, can we get some food? I'm starving."

"Me too. Hey, that thing where you caught my fist? Can you teach me how to do that?"

_And that was my first meeting with Haymanot of the Lion's Tooth clan. She would in time become my closest friend, my comrade-at-arms, the one person I could trust absolutely, with my very life. And then I was forced to betray her and everything she believed in. She met her death at my hands, cursing me with her final breath... but that's a story for another time._

By the time evening came the other two clans had established their own camps in several of the caves next to our own. They had brought food with them, to add to our stocks, and we built a large campfire under the shelter of the cliffs for a communal meal. Some of the men were talking about planning a joint hunt, going after an entire herd of antelope, herding them into deadfalls to slaughter them. That would provide enough meat for all three clans for an entire season, if we prepared it with the white crystals from Tsehay's stream to prevent it going bad. It sounded exciting, and I hoped I'd be allowed to join in.

The size of the crowd still bothered me a little, but I was getting more used to it, and it was certainly thrilling in its own scary way. Some of the older people were telling stories, and some of them I'd never heard before. Then after the meal there was singing, and four of the men from the Red Earth dragged a hollow log from a nearby copse, and began beating on it with sticks in an infectious rhythm. Soon a space was cleared next to the campfire, and people from all three clans were dancing together underneath the stars.

Several of the younger ones seemed to be pairing off, in a way that had always made me roll my eyes and look disgusted in the past. But now for some reason I thought of the young warrior with the long tousled hair. I imagined myself dancing with him, the ends of his locks flicking my face with their feathery touch, his strong hands around my waist. The heat was building back inside me, with a peculiar quivery fluttering in my belly that was strange but kind of nice, and I began threading my way through the crowd, eager eyes open for a sight of him.

And then I saw him. Oh, I saw him alright. Right out there on the dancefloor, moving gracefully in time to the beat from the drummers ��" and with his arms wrapped around another girl. She was gazing up at his face with a big stupid grin, and I instantly hated her. Really, really hated her. I wanted to kill her, drag her off him, tear her to pieces and stamp on them.

A sharp elbow poked me in the ribs, and I almost convulsed with the shock.

"Seble claims another victim, eh?"

It was Haymanot. Obviously. She nodded over towards the dancing couple, an evil grin on her face. "You've gotta wonder what they all see in him."

"But… he's got lovely arms. Haven't you seen them? And that hair…"

"Oh, Spirits, not you too. Listen, girl, you can do a lot better than him, I'm telling you."

"What do you mean?" I felt kind of outraged by her dismissiveness, but my curiosity was piqued too.

"Oh, I won't deny he's cute. Funny too, when he tries to be. But full of himself? Better believe it. Why do you think he doesn't braid his hair?"

"Why should he? I think it looks… nice. I'd kind of like to braid it for him myself."

"Well, exactly. Thank you for proving my point. You and half the other women he knows, which is exactly why he leaves it like that."

"Well, perhaps he wants to find a good wife. Why not? I mean, if I were older I'd…"

"Spare me. Seble isn't interested in getting tied down to anyone if he can help it."

"But his duty to his clan?" I felt baffled. Everybody got married. All my life, I'd understood it to be as much part of becoming an adult as getting body hair and tallness. Without new children, the clan would die!

"The only duty Seble cares about is to the thing between his legs, every chance he gets."

"What? Even with people from his own clan? That's disgusting!"

"The way I hear it, the other men from the Red Earth got together, made the chieftain tell him if he didn't get himself a wife this time, he'd find himself gutting prey every day for the rest of his life. See how many women want to go with him when he's up to his armpits in buffalo crap all the time."

Rather to my surprise, that image startled me into a horrified but delighted laugh. Once I started, I couldn't stop, and before long I'd infected Haymanot with the giggles too. We clung together, each trying to outdo the other in thinking up even more imaginative and gross punishments for him. Eventually, breathless, I wiped the tears from my eyes and looked across at Seble again, my crush well and truly cured.

Then I realised who he was dancing with. It was Esyete.

She was looking up at him adoringly, and once again I fought with the urge to rush across and drag them apart - but this time for her benefit, not my own. Haymanot looked at me questioningly, and I explained. She nodded grimly.

"I'll help you. We'll teach him not to mess around with your cousin."

I hesitated. She did look as if she was really enjoying herself. Did I have the right to take that away from her?

"Maybe we should do it differently. Do you think he'd make a good husband if he did marry Esyete?"

She shrugged. "Good as any other man, I suppose. The trick would be getting him to agree - and keep his promise."

"Well, that's where we come in. I think the two of us could explain to him - in detail, with examples - what will happen to him if he ever hurts my cousin. And what a good wife she'd make."

Haymanot grinned at me evilly, her eyes sparkling. "I like the way you think. Shall we do it tonight?"

"Give it a few days. Let's make sure they don't hate each other in the morning first before we try pushing them together."

"That's sensible. Kelile's always telling me I'm too quick to jump into a fight without thinking things out first. She'd approve of you."

"Who's Kelile? Your clan's headwoman?"

"No, she's - never mind. She's old, and wise."

"Haymanot, why won't you tell me what that word means? The thing you called me before?"

She looked uncomfortable, glanced around at the crowd.

"I can't. Really. It's taboo, a big secret. I shouldn't have told you what I did, but I assumed you were, you know. The same as me."

"You mean a warrior? I am, too!"

"No. You're still a child. You don't know."

"Know what? I don't believe you know anything! You're just making this up to make fun of me!"

She sighed unhappily, bit her lip, then seemed to come to a decision. She beckoned me with her, walking away from the crowded campfire grounds into the night.

We stopped once the sound of music and laughter was dimmed by distance. In the darkness I could hardly see her, only her eyes reflecting the pale moonlight.

"Hiywan, what I'm going to show you - you must never tell anyone about it. Ever. Promise me."

"But what are you - alright. I promise."

"Promise by your soul, in the name of Qasafi the Destroyer!"

I recoiled in horror. That was a name spoken only in whispers, and rarely at that. Normally we referred to It only as Teferi, the Feared One. It was a spirit of pure destruction, absolute and unchecked. The death that could claim even gods. Even Tsehay the Burning Warrior feared It. Our legends said that the Great Spirit kept Teferi bound in darkness, only releasing It to slay His most powerful enemies. If Teferi ever broke free, it would mark the end of the world.

And this was the spirit that Haymanot was asking me to invoke.

I gulped, my mood suddenly entirely sober. This wasn't a game anymore. Stumbling over the words, I gave Haymanot her promise.

There was a rustling, and I realised she was untying her wrap. Her form was nothing but a darker shadow in the blackness of the night, but she took my hand and guided it to her chest. I felt smooth skin and warmth, then an odd roughness. My fingers traced the outline of a raised scar, carved into her flesh directly over her heart. A short horizontal line, crossed by a longer vertical one. The symbol of Tsehay; the rays of his sunlight that gave light and heat to the world, but could also parch and burn and bring death. And Tsehay the Warrior was the patron of men; feeling his mark on someone who was very definitely a woman was… disturbing. I felt my understanding of the world shifting around me.

"What does it mean?"

She laughed, a little regretfully. "I knew you'd ask that. I'd like to tell you, Hiywan, but I can't. I swore the same oath as you just did."

"But - "

"I can tell you this, though. Someday, maybe soon, you might bear the same mark as me. Then you'll know."

I opened my mouth to ask more, but her next words drove all coherent thought from my head.

"The only problem is, you'll have to die first."


	6. Chapter 6

**Chapter Six**

I didn't sleep well that night, my head whirling with uncomfortable new thoughts. From the sounds around me, rest wasn't the first priority to many of my clansmates either; a lot of new friendships had been made with the people of the Red Earth and Lion's Tooth that evening. I wondered what Esyete was doing; wondered if Seble really would stay behind when his clan left, become one of the Five Trees.

Then with a painful wrench I realised that maybe some of our own men would soon be finding themselves wives, leaving the clan. Assefa, Melesse, even Tilahun; all the boys I'd grown up with. Why hadn't I realised this before? I was stupid! I'd never see them again! I wanted to rush over, find them in the darkness, shake them awake, talk to them while I still could. Make the most of their company, because soon they'd be gone forever! I shook with panic, but forced myself to stay still, not make a fool of myself. I would see them again, of course. Wasn't this meeting with the two other clans proof of that? It just wouldn't be as often, that was all.

Slightly comforted, I finally drifted off to sleep. I woke late, the sun already high in the sky, but from the muttered complaints and groans from my sleeping companions I wasn't the only one. I picked my way through the huddled bodies to the cave entrance, squinted in the daylight.

I wanted to bathe, let the cool water rinse away the grogginess of sleep; but as I made my way down to the pool I'd used before I was surprised to see a group of the clan elders gathered there, along with strangers I assumed must be their equivalents from the other clans. They were deep in conversation, examining some odd-looking things they'd carried there with them, and I crept away quietly, not wanting to disturb them. In the end I stood under one of the waterfalls coming out of the cliff, delighting in the rush of cold water that raised goosebumps all over my skin then leaping out to dry off in the hot sunlight.

Feeling at a loose end, I thought about wandering over to the Lion's Tooth campsite, to see if I could find Haymanot. I wasn't quite sure what to say to her after last night, but for all her secrecy she'd still given me more information than anyone else I'd met. But then I heard my name being called, and Mother was walking towards me. She wanted to know what I'd done and where I'd been last night, and I worried, scared I'd get Haymanot into trouble. But it didn't take long before I realised that her real worry was that I'd got involved with one of the boys from the other clan.

She'd seen Esyete and Seble together, apparently, and it seemed she knew all about Seble's reputation. I was appalled and impressed in equal measure; people Mother's age weren't supposed to understand things like that, were they? But apparently she did; and when I told her I'd decided to keep well clear of Seble, she was absurdly pleased with me. I considered telling her about some of the things Haymanot and I had dreamed up to do to him, but thought better of it. There are some things that parents are best kept ignorant of - for their own good, of course. Instead I asked her, shyly, if she'd met Father at a similar celebration to the one we had last night. She smiled fondly, and gave me a considering look.

"Are you thinking of finding a husband for yourself, Hiywan? You shouldn't rush into something like that. You're still very young, you need time to work out what you want for yourself. Make sure you're making the right decision."  A brief look of sadness crossed her face. "Assuming it's a decision you're able to make at all."

I was puzzled, but she'd said something similar before, and Haymanot's words from last night came back to me. I could see the outline forming in my brain, like a storm cloud boiling up over the savannah. I was standing at the brink of something. And everyone was expecting me to jump without ever telling me what awaited me at the bottom. It made me frustrated and angry and a little scared. I needed something to lash out at; I needed someone to hug me and tell me everything was going to be all right.

Instead I gave Mother a distant smile and told her I'd do as she suggested. But she'd decided that she wanted to spend the whole day with her eldest daughter, for the first time in I don't know how long, and she suggested we walk down to the lake. She asked me to bring my spear in case of danger, and I felt pleased and proud at her trust.

And truth be told, I enjoyed that day more than I'd ever expected. She told me all about meeting Father, and I hesitantly shared some of the thoughts and feelings I'd had earlier, and she didn't laugh at me but smiled understandingly and told me that she'd felt the same when she was my age. And then, greatly daring, I asked her if she still thought about Biftu.

She just looked at me for a long, long moment, her face expressionless, until I wanted to crawl away, pull the world in behind me in embarrassment. But then she said, "You were very close to your sister, weren't you, dear?" I nodded mutely. Mother put her hand gently on my arm, her voice low and sad. "I think about her every day. And I know you do too. After she died, your father and I were so worried about you. We were terrified that we'd lose you too, that you'd go off and never come back. That you wanted to die, so you could be with her again."

Tears filled my eyes. "I don't want to leave you! I never wanted to go away. But I did want my sister to come back. I still do. Do you think it's possible? Could Biftu come back?"

"Oh no. Dear, no. It's not possible. You have to move on. Tiruneh has taken her back to Himself. Wherever she is, she's happy."

"But - " I thought of the last time I'd seen Biftu. She hadn't seemed happy. Not at all. I wondered if I should tell Mother what happened, immediately decided against it. It would only upset her more, and I didn't want to lay my burden on her too. I took a different approach. "They said she was taken by nightwalkers. They're a sort of demon, aren't they? Perhaps she's still with them. Perhaps she's alive."

 "No. Don't ever think that. Nightwalkers don't capture prisoners. They're nothing but killers." Her hand on my arm shook with suppressed horror and misery. "Don't ever let yourself think otherwise."

"But why didn't we find - " I choked on the words, but forced them out, "- find a body?"

Mother didn't reply to that for a long time, until I began to think I'd said the wrong thing again. But then she took me over to a large rock overlooking the lakeshore, sat me down on it, and took a seat next to me. Told me very seriously that she thought I was old enough to know this now. She said she'd talked to Grandmother Heran back when Biftu was killed, asked her for everything she knew about nightwalkers. It suddenly dawned on me that Mother had had exactly the same idea as me, that she could get Biftu back somehow! I looked at her with startled new eyes, felt closer to my mother than I had done for years. But she wasn't finished. She went on to tell me what Grandmother had told her.

What nightwalkers did to their victims. Where new ones came from. What exactly they were.

I was horrified, and repelled. This was disgusting. It was _wrong_. And beneath it all, kindling slowly but banking up its heat, came my anger. Hotter and hotter it burned in my chest. White hot corrosive rage at the world that allowed this to happen. At the nightwalkers, and what they did to my sister. They would pay for this. If it took my entire lifetime and a thousand lifetimes beside, every last one of them would pay for this. I remembered my conversation with Haymanot, remembered a name. I called on Qasafi to witness my words. Help me keep my promise. Help me destroy them all.

Mother was staring at me, fear in her face, her eyes locked on mine. It pierced me to the heart. I forgot my anger, flung my arms around her, begging her not to worry. That I'd become strong, that I'd protect her, that she wouldn't lose me. I was babbling, and crying, and she was crying too, and we hugged each other for a long time.

Then she drew back a little, and sighed.

"I knew it would come to this. I hoped it wouldn't. I wanted you to be a normal girl, get married, have children, have a normal life. I might have known you'd never do the usual thing. You were always stubborn. Here. I've got something for you."

She rummaged inside her wrap, pulled something out. It was a little piece of ivory, carved into the form of a cross. I recognised the shape immediately, remembered the same symbol scarred into the body of a woman warrior from another clan. I looked at Mother, my eyes full of questions.

"I got this from my own mother. I... I lacked the strength to bear the mark myself. I chose a different destiny. And it's a choice I've never regretted, because I have you, and Haset, and my husband. I have my life. But you, Hiywan, you're strong enough. You're the strongest person I've ever known, and I'm proud of you, and I'm terrified for you, and I trust you. Here, take it. Keep it secret and keep it safe."

I held out my hand for it, not daring to ask the thousand questions that seethed in my brain. But Mother knew me too well.

"Don't worry, dear. You'll get answers. You'll get them all tonight. It's the night of the full moon, and you're here in our clan's sacred place, and we both know how your body's been changing recently. None of these things are a coincidence. Whatever else happens tonight, the child I've known for all these years won't be here tomorrow."

She smiled at me gently.

"I hope I'll be just as proud of the woman who'll take her place."

The rest of the day seemed almost anticlimactic. We gathered rushes down by the lakeside, bundled them up into two big piles to carry over our shoulders back to the clan for bedding. We talked about little things; funny stories, gossip about our clanmates. Mother seemed determined to keep the mood light and cheerful; as for me, I felt content now I knew what the big mystery was.

Or at least, I thought I did.

We headed back to the camp as the sun set. With such a large gathering of people in one place, it was likely that any danger would be giving the area a wide berth, but there was no point in taking chances. Mother asked me not to tell anybody what we'd discussed; I got the impression that she'd broken one of our laws by warning me in advance what was going to happen tonight. I didn't want to get her into trouble - or call attention to myself - but part of me was bubbling with astonished glee that Mother could be such a rebel. I thought about the fact that she'd once been my age herself, and I wondered what sort of person she'd been back then.

This evening was more subdued than the previous one. The men were still talking about arranging a big communal hunt, but now they'd got to the detailed planning stage, arguing about methods and tactics and location. There was a storytelling session for the children, and we older ones were roped into looking after them. It might have been just my paranoia, but I felt sure the adults were watching us more closely than normal. Making sure we didn't slip off. I kept sneaking glances at my friends, wondering if they suspected what was going to happen, or if I was the only one with the secret. Haymanot was nowhere to be seen. Mother was deep in conversation with Grandmother Heran. I saw Esyete, and longed to ask her about last night and what she'd thought of Seble, but there were always too many others around and I didn't get the chance to talk to her properly.

And at last the long, tense evening was over, and nothing had happened! We all made our way to our sleeping spaces, and I felt a crushing disappointment. Had Mother lied to me? Had she made a mistake? Or was this just something that would happen while I was asleep? I thought that becoming an adult would be, well, more spectacular than this. I gazed dubiously down at my body. Would it still look the same in the morning, or would I have changed somehow? Disgruntled, I settled down on the soft, sweet-smelling rushes we'd gathered, and drifted off to sleep.

My dreams that night were strange and frightening. I saw the faces of my clan, but distorted with anger and a terrible hunger. Their eyes burned yellow with hatred, great fangs erupted from their mouths to rend my flesh. I screamed in revulsion, struck out at them in a frenzy, and there was a strange weapon in my hands, bright red like fresh blood, its blade hard and cold and glittering like solid starlight. A terrible power filled me, and I swung the blade, and at every stroke another monster died, until there was only one of them left. I stabbed it through the heart, and as it died its face changed back to human, and I recognised my mother staring back up at me until her body faded to dust and ash.

I started upright, trying to cry out in horror and denial, but there was a rough hand over my mouth. More hands grasped at my limbs. I felt the burn of a rope around my ankles. I struggled frantically, kicked out, and was gratified to feel the rope come loose. My foot connected with something solid, and there was an anguished grunt of pain and muffled curses. Urgent voices whispered, heavy weights pinned my legs despite all I could do, and a leather bag was pulled down over my face, drawn tight over my mouth. It smelled hot and musty and breathing became difficult. I still tried to fight even so, but it was a losing battle. The rope went around my ankles once again, tighter this time, and my wrists too. More whispers, and a low laugh. Then I was hoisted into the air, slung over a shoulder, and I felt myself being carried off.

Down into the darkness, and who knew what fate?


	7. Chapter 7

**Chapter Seven**

I don't know how far I was taken. At least twice I was put down, presumably so the man carrying me could rest, then picked up again and borne onwards. After my first failed attempt to break free I didn't try to struggle, preferring to save my strength for a better opportunity. I strained my ears trying to listen to my captors, but the leather bag blocked out sound as well as vision, and they spoke only in whispers. Who were they? Had the other two clans decided to kidnap me for some reason? Such things were not unknown, though in the stories they usually led to feuds and tragedy. But why me? Or had they taken some of the other girls too? Our warriors would pursue them for that, take vengeance, rescue us, surely? But why hadn't they stopped us being taken in the first place? Were they dead? Did the enemy clans use magic to blind and deafen them - did they even know we were gone?

It's perhaps just as well that in my struggle to understand what was going on, it never occurred to me to worry about what they were going to do to _me_.

At last I was put down again. I felt a hard, cold surface beneath me; my back rested against something rough and rounded. A fallen tree, perhaps? My arms were pulled back behind me, fastened to the object. The rope around my ankles was released and I instantly lashed out, kicking as hard as I could. But my captor was ready for that, and sprang back before I could connect with him. I heard a low chuckle, and fumed in impotent rage. There was more movement around me, muffled conversation. Something heavy was dropped to the ground beside me, sending a vibration through the treetrunk (if that's what it was) that I was tied to. I heard a girl's stifled squeal of pain and fear. So I wasn't the only prisoner. If only I could see! If only I could get my arms free… I tried tugging against the bonds, but they were too strong for me.

But then the leather hood was twitched away from my face, pulled free. And it was just as dark as before! Was I blind? Around me I heard whimpers and sobs - then a boy's voice quavered, "What's happening?" A boy? It always seemed to be girls getting kidnapped in the legends. Something odd was going on here… then the identity of the person who'd spoken penetrated my fear-fuddled senses.

"Melesse? Is that you?"

"Hiywan?! You're here too? What's going on? What are they doing to us?"

A chorus of voices interrupted us, all babbling at once, pleading to know where we were, what was happening, where we'd been taken. The fear and panic were palpable. It was too much. I shouted at them all to be quiet, to let me think. Rather to my surprise they all did, immediately. The blank darkness suddenly seemed full of expectant ears waiting to hear what I would say next.

I gulped. I wished desperately that I were somewhere else, that another person would take over. But it looked like it was up to me.

"I - I think that we've been taken by one of the other clans. M-maybe they need m-more wives," - don't forget Melesse - "…a-and husbands. That means they're not going to hurt us…"

"They might want to sacrifice us to demons!"

"Yeah! Or m-maybe they want to eat us!"

"Shut up! Shut up, all of you! We're still alive, and it's up to us if we want to stay that way. We'll find a way to get free- "

I never finished my sentence, as a tremendous thunderclap of noise erupted in the darkness, rolling back in echoes around us. There were yelps of fear, and I sat bolt upright. What was _that_?

A second crash resounded, as loud as the first, and again slowly faded. The small part of me that wasn't paralysed with terror listened to the echoes and wondered. Were we inside? A cave? That would explain the darkness…

But then the darkness was broken, and all conscious thought fled my brain.

It was a face. The light shining behind it dazzled my eyes so I could barely see it, but it was vast. Larger than human, with a look of fierce majesty on its countenance. A face to inspire awe and terror. The face of a god.

The thunder crashed again, and the God drifted towards us through the darkness. My companions whimpered and cowered, and there was the sudden stench of terror. I drew my knees up into my chest, huddled into a ball, tried to push myself back into the barrier behind me.

The God turned Its stern, immobile gaze to face us, each in turn. Its eyes seemed to penetrate through to my very soul. I stared back, too afraid to move, not daring to look away. Then I was dismissed; the God moved on to the next in line. I remembered to breathe again.

The next clap of thunder stole that breath away again, as the God spoke!

_ **"Mortals, how do you dare? This is a place of spirits. All who come here must die!"** _

I thought I'd known terror before. I almost choked on my tongue, cold sweat running down my back. Around me the darkness seemed to burst into sudden life, tiny points of light glimmering in the darkness. Wisps of shadow seemed to drift around us; I heard faint whispers rustling and murmuring. A smoky sweet smell filled my nostrils, and I began to feel lightheaded. Was I dying? Had the God slain us all for our temerity in coming here? But it wasn't fair! We'd had no choice!

More thunder, coming more quickly now. It was familiar; I suddenly recognised the sound of drumming - but surely greater than any instrument humans might use. These were the drums of the gods. And then two more spirits came into view behind the first, and I knew I was truly dead.

The first was male, obviously so. And His great round face was a ring of fire, burning in the darkness. I recognised Tsehay, Burning Warrior, spirit of the Sun, and quivered in fear and exaltation. Behind Him came His sister and wife Serkalem, Ever-Living, Her rounded breasts and belly ample evidence of Her fruitfulness. They moved gracefully to the drumbeats, whirling around each other in a dance, oblivious to us; then each bowed low to the Great God who'd entered first.

_**"Father, how may we serve you?"  
**__**  
"Behold the mortals who have entered our realm unbidden! Take them as your rightful prey!"  
**_  
We huddled together as the two Gods seemed to notice us for the first time, advance towards us. This was the end. But as the two figures loomed over us, They suddenly threw Their hands up in disgust, turned Their backs on us! I felt an illogical spurt of disappointment at the rejection, mingled with anger.

_ **"Father, these are but children. They are worthless to us."  
** _ _ **   
** **"Then we shall destroy them."** _

The drums crashed like thunder once more. My head whirled, acrid smoke-taste in the back of my throat, but I clung to my sliver of anger like a lifeline. I was a warrior of the Five Trees. I would face my death with bravery, stare it in the face.

And so I saw It approaching. Behind the three Gods it entered, unseen and unheard. The darkness seemed to shrink back away from it, leaving yet deeper blackness glittering at its heart. I sensed hunger and wild rage, and knew this thing would not be my death. Far worse than that. It would be my destiny.

It would destroy everything I ever loved, but it would never destroy me. It knew me. It _was _me.

Then I blinked my eyes, shook my head to clear the tears that filled them from the bitter smoke, looked again. Saw the scene before me with radically new perception. I saw a person in an elaborate costume, a frightening carved wooden mask covering their face, whirling two smoky torches around them so that in the dim light their form was almost hidden by the looping whorls of blackness. Realisation filled me; but then I took another lungful of the sweet-smelling air, and suddenly I was struggling to separate vision and understanding once more. What was real? Was I among gods, or were these people?

Or were they both? This was a place of magic, and the realm of the spirits pressed closely upon the world of mortals here. Anything could happen. And truth could take many forms.

Tsehay and Serkalem had seen the approaching Power now. They shrank away in fear, wailed in panic; and we children stared up in utter dread at a being that could inspire terror in the Gods themselves. This was Teferi the Feared One, Qasafi, the Destroyer, and no man or god could stand against It. Even Great Tiruneh stepped back, unable to face the most terrible of His creations.

And this was the Power that, in my childish rage and pride, I had called on to help me in my petty revenge!

Teferi stalked towards us, ravenous hunger etched through every shifting, whirling line of Its body. From deep within Itself It drew a long, sharp blade that seemed to drink in the dim light and give nothing back. It raised it to strike the nearest of the cowering mortals -

And suddenly there was a figure blocking its way. Serkalem stood there, defiant despite Her fear, raising Her arms to shield us. A mother facing certain destruction to protect Her children. I could barely dare to look, certain she would be torn apart instantly; but her desperate courage woke a matching flame in my own heart. If this was to be my death, then let me face it the same way; spitting defiance in the face of the Destroyer.

Then the incredible happened:

Qasafi growled and hissed and _turned away._

It shrank back, unable to face the vibrant force of life and fierce love embodied in the form of Serkalem the Mother. For the first time since this began hope awoke inside me. But then Tiruneh spoke to His daughter reprovingly:

_**"You would protect them? These worthless children?"  
**_  
She bowed her head in shame, and all my fear came rushing back. But then Tsehay stepped forward to join His sister-wife and confront Their father.

_ **"As children they have no claim on our protection, Father. But if they dare to accept rebirth as men and women of the People, shall they not then be worthy?"** _

I held my breath as I waited for the Great Spirit's answer.

_**"Do you think they will dare? Will they leave their hearths and their mothers' laps, and face the storm and the sun? Will they join the circle of life and help create new life in their turn? Will they stand alone, and stretch out their hand to their comrades? Will they dare this?"  
**_  
Part of me wanted to shout "Yes!" but I bit my lip, watching and listening as the drama unfolded.

_**"Father, I ... I do not know."  
**_  
But then Serkalem came to the assistance of her brother-husband.

_ **"Then let us ask them. Let them make this choice, each for themselves. Then we will know who is worthy."** _

And Great Tiruneh nodded His head, and said in stately tones,

_**"So Be It."  
**_  
I closed my eyes in relief. I was not going to die here after all; or perhaps I had died already, in which case I was about to be reborn. I was about to become a woman, and I hoped Serkalem the Ever-Living would be proud of me.

But would I have to give up my spear then? Warriors served Tsehay, not Serkalem. Would I have to give up the hunt? Or else would I have to become a man instead? I wasn't sure I liked the sound of that...

_**"Choose!"  
**_  
I opened my eyes again in panic. I wasn't ready to make such a huge decision! But then I realised that the three Gods were standing at the far end of the log I was chained to, addressing one of my fellow-captives - not me, not yet. They were holding out things to him, and bright torchlight glittered on the chipped facets of a knife as he was cut free of his bonds. He reached out his hand to grasp the object Tsehay was offering him. I craned my neck to get a better look at it, but they were too far away to see clearly in the dancing smoky light.

But then suddenly he was being pulled to his feet, and bundled out of the cavern into the blackness beyond. To what doom? I thought, uneasily, that in order to be reborn, you had to die first, and wondered just how literal that was likely to be.

_**"Choose!"  
**_  
The Gods had returned, and the next in line was being offered the fateful decision. She suddenly giggled, then hastily cut off the incongruous sound as she reached for the object Serkalem was proffering. I recognised Esyete's voice, and watched my cousin being dragged off too into the darkness.

_**"Choose!"  
**_  
The boy taking the object from Tsehay's hand this time was unknown to me, which confused me until I realised with a shock that some of the captives around me were not from my clan at all. They must be children of the Lion's Tooth and Red Earth! Here, in our sacred place! I frowned, my brain working overtime. Was this why we came here so urgently, to meet the other two clans beneath the light of the full moon? Was all this planned?

_**"Choose!"  
**_  
They were getting closer. I would soon have to make my decision. I could see, now, that both Serkalem and Tsehay were holding out small objects, one each; small enough to fit inside the leather bags that most of us wore around our necks as a protective amulet. I thought of the small cross of carved ivory my mother had given me that afternoon - it seemed a lifetime ago now - nestling next to the smooth white pebble, the knuckle-bone of the first deer I killed, and the dried fragment of my own birthcord that lay inside my own, and wondered what new item would soon find its home there.

_**"Choose!"  
**_  
It was Melesse's turn now, and as I strained into the dim half-light I saw him clutching what looked like a small wooden stick, no longer than the first two joints of my finger, with a bulbous end. I blinked, trying to place it, then felt my face grow warm as I recognised what it was probably a carved representation of.

_**"Choose!"  
**_  
They were close enough now that I could get a good look; and my suspicions were confirmed. Now I knew why Esyete had giggled, and I was sure my own face was glowing in the dark by now. But it made sense, I supposed: by accepting these magical tokens from the Gods, we were also accepting the adult bodies they represented; we would grow to become what we had chosen.

I giggled myself as I realised this explained why so many men think of that thing between their legs as a gift from the Gods; apparently, it was the literal truth after all! Except - my own body was already changing; certain happenings in the last few days had proven that conclusively to me. But I hadn't accepted any token from Serkalem yet! How could that even work? It was magic, of course, but surely even magic should follow rules. Did this mean my choice was already settled and done? Did I have no option except to take the woman's choice, give up my spear, become a wife and then a mother? For all that part of me wanted that, I felt strangely hollow inside.

_**"Choose!"  
**_  
This was not a choice I wanted to make! Couldn't I choose _both_? But the world didn't work that way. Young as I was, I knew that. A brief flash of rebellion stirred even so; couldn't I change the world? Break the rules? But I looked into the great glowing faces of the Gods before me, and I quailed.

_**_**"Choose!"  
**_**_  
And now it was my turn. I was the last. Alone, save for the Gods. I stared at the small carved wooden phallus in the hands of the Burning Warrior, and then at what the Ever-Living held out to me. It was a braided circle of black leather, a small carved bead of reddish wood sewn into the top of the loop. My hands came free as Tiruneh's knife sliced through the thong binding them, and I felt ashes in my mouth as I reached out to make my choice.

And then the Gods were brutally pushed aside, and my heart froze in my chest as Qasafi the Destroyer stood before me. Its eyes held my own locked. The dagger in Its hands drank the light and gave nothing back.

And then It spoke:

** _"I choose. This one is mine."  
_ **


	8. stormwreath: (Fic) Hiywan's Story - Chapter Eight (of Eight)

**Chapter Eight**

The world froze about me. I had no breath; my very heart seemed to stop its beating. The Gods themselves, Father Tsehay and Mother Serkalem and even Great Tiruneh, were still and quiet; waiting, expectant. Qasafi Teferi alone filled my vision, the black glittering knife in Its hand cold as my death - and in Its other hand, a small token: a shard of flint, the fragment of a weapon.

I heard whispering in my ears, distant voices, the sounds of girls like me, thousands upon thousands of them. Who were they? Their thoughts pressed heavy upon me, raw fear and cold anger, passionate devotion and gleeful acceptance. Had they also faced this moment? Or would they, in days to come?

It should have been a comfort, to know that I was not alone in this. But it was not. I was alone; truly alone. I looked into the face of the darkness, and in that moment I made my choice.

Serkalem's token still lay in her hand, unheeded and forgotten. I glanced at it a moment in regret, but that could not be my life now. Qasafi the Destroyer had spoken. It thought to claim me for Itself, and I could not deny my destiny. But my will was still my own.

I stood, and reached out - but not for the token Qasafi was offering me. I put my hand around the long knife in Its other hand, the real one, the deadly one. I pulled it towards me. There was a moment of resistance, but I tugged hard and then the dagger was in my grasp. The Gods recoiled in shock, one of them giving a gasp of surprise that sounded far too human - and then I could swear I heard Teferi Itself chuckle softly.

The knife was far too big to be a token for my amulet, but I didn't care. I stood proudly and defiantly in front of the Gods, brandished my new weapon and said, "I have chosen." And if my voice squeaked slightly on the last syllable, I'm sure nobody but me noticed.

And then there was a long, long pause... and then Great Tiruneh nodded His head, and spoke.

_**"She has, indeed, chosen. She is yours, Qasafi my servant."**_

And with that there was another huge crash of thunder, and the three Great Gods turned and filed out of the chamber. Leaving me alone with Qasafi the Destroyer.

I wasn't sure what to expect then; but it certainly wasn't that the Feared One, the Destroyer of Gods, would chuckle again and say in a wry tone "You always were one for the grand gestures, Hiywan. Still, you made your choice. Look after that dagger carefully; it holds powerful magic."

I _knew _that voice! But just as I was trying to place it, the God spoke again, and this time Its voice was once again cold and mighty as the storm.

_**"Follow me, Chosen One."**_

And I followed.

***

As we left the cavern, the air felt fresher, less heavy with smoke, and I gripped the dagger tightly as I wondered where Teferi was leading me. But then we rounded a corner, and suddenly arms clutched me on either side, and a leather bag was once again pulled over my head! I instantly tried to jerk out of their grip, but my captors were expecting that and I failed to break free. But then one of them whispered in my ear, amused exasperation filling her voice: "Spirits damn it, kid, stop struggling!"

Now that voice I _did _recognise. "Haymanot! What are you doing? Didn't I tell you not to call me a kid?!"

"Well, you _are _a kid. But any moment now, you won't be. And then I'll stop calling you that."

"You can stop calling me it now! And what--" But before I got any further, a stern adult voice called for quiet. I waited, wondering what would happen next; and then the hood was removed once again from my eyes, and I was dazzled by a torch held close to my face. Blinking, I could just make out that I was in a small stone chamber, standing at the centre of a ring of people. One of them spoke.

"Who is this you bring before us?"

Another of the circle stepped forward, and I realised it was Grandmother Heran. "She is Hiywan, a daughter of the Five Trees Clan, and she has been recognised by the Gods, and she has chosen to take her place in life as an adult of the People."

"Then let it be so. Hiywan of the Five Trees, you have passed through death. Are you ready for rebirth?"

"--." I cleared my throat, tried again. "Yes I am."

"Then accept the gifts of your Divine Parents; the fire of Tsehay and the water of Serkalem. Put your hand in the flame."

_What?_ I reached out my hand towards the torch gingerly, not liking this idea at all. But once again Haymanot whispered in my ear. "Just do it really quickly and it won't hurt at all. Well, not much." I didn't want to seem like a coward, so I took a deep breath then waved my hand quickly through the torch flame. It flickered and danced, and despite Haymanot's assurances pain lanced through me; but then cool water poured down over my hand and soothed the burn as one of the other women emptied a water bladder over it.

"This is your final lesson as a child; life holds both pain and comfort. Remember this."

And then Haymanot and the other girl holding me - I didn't recognise her, but I think she was from the Red Earth Clan - took a rope of braided hide, tied into a circle, and passed it over my head. They drew the loop slowly down over my body, then dropped it to the ground around my feet.

"Step forward and take your place as a woman of the Five Trees Clan."

And so I stepped out of the circle, over the braided cord, and from one breath to the next I became an adult.

Truth be told, it didn't actually feel any different. But the people around me started greeting me as if they'd never seen me before, and calling me by name; and Grandmother Heran even hugged me, something she only rarely did. As for Haymanot, she punched me on the shoulder and said "See? Now you're not a kid. I'll have to think of something else to call you."

"I can think of something else to call her." That was the other older woman who had spoken before, and now she looked at me sternly. "She is one of the Chosen of Teferi, is she not?"

"She is indeed." That was Grandmother Heran who replied, and she pointed at the dagger I was still holding. "Not only was she chosen, she chose herself."

"Very well." She looked into my eyes. "You know what this means, do you not?"

"No, I don't!" I hadn't meant to be so blunt, but once I'd started, the words poured out. "I know that Teferi is dangerous and powerful and I'm sorry if swearing in his name made him choose me but that was because of the Nightwalkers and what they did to-- to-- and anyway if it means I can still be a warrior I'm fine with that but I don't know who you people are or what you're expecting me to do now or what any of this means because nobody ever _tells me anything!_"

I paused for a very shaky breath, and the women around me exchanged glances. Then Grandmother Heran stepped forward.

"What my sister Kelile meant was: now you are a Chosen of Teferi, do you realise that you will have to devote your life to the God's service? Teferi has set Its mark upon you now, and there is no going back from that. But what Kelile was _not _going to tell you yet - " she added this in a sardonic voice - "Is that all of us here carry that same mark. We are the bearers of Teferi's power, sworn protectors of our clans, warriors against the Darkness. Yet there are many who would abuse our power, or seek to steal it for their own ends, and that is why we do not share our secrets with outsiders."

"Until now, apparently." That was Kelile again, looking reprovingly at Grandmother. But Heran stared back, unabashed.

"Hiywan is one of us now."

"She does not bear Tsehay's Sign. She has not sworn the vows. Perhaps she will lack the strength, as her mother also failed that test."

I almost erupted into an angry outburst then, but Haymanot's hand tightened on my arm as a warning. What was that about Mother? But Heran spoke in tones of serene confidence. "She will pass your tests." I stood up straighter, determined to prove her right.

"Very well then." Kelile turned to me. "Hiywan of the Five Trees, are you ready to fulfil your duty as a Chosen of Teferi?"

"Yes. Assuming that you actually _tell me _what that duty is."

She gave a tiny sigh of exasperation. "Will you swear in Qasafi's name that you will fight for humanity and be the defender of your people? Will you stand against the nightwalkers, the demons and the forces of darkness?"

Oh, I had no problem at all swearing to do that. Gladly. "Yes, I will."

"Will you treat all the Chosen of Teferi as your sisters, keep our secrets and obey our laws?"

Well... it didn't seem like I had much of an option there. "Yes."

Kelile smiled at me then, but it wasn't a kind smile. "Do you realise that as a Chosen One, you are forbidden to marry? All of humanity will be your children, but you can bear no child of your own. Are you sure you still wish to join us?"

_Oh_. Part of me had already suspected that would be one of the rules. After all, you couldn't hunt or fight to defend the clan if you were pregnant, or nursing a baby at your breast, could you? And hadn't that been my biggest worry before, that becoming a woman would force me to put down my spear? So it should be an easy promise to make. And yet...and yet somehow it wasn't. A thought struck me.

"Is this the vow my mother refused to take?"

"Your mother was weak. Is her daughter also weak, or do you choose to be strong?"

The hint of spite in her tone infuriated me. "Mother wasn't weak. She just made a different choice to the one you wanted her to make! She chose Father, and, and me! Without children, the clans would die!"

"And without us, the clans would also die. Painfully and with great suffering. This is the sacrifice we must make, to ensure the safety of all. We have all made this choice; do you?"

I looked round the circle of faces. They each met my eyes; some with compassion, some with challenge, some with neutral, measuring gaze. Last of all I looked at Haymanot; she nodded at me solemnly... then spoiled the effect, just as I was about to turn away, by winking at me! I wasn't at all sure what she meant by that, and felt my face heat as I pondered the possible implications. But if Haymanot didn't find this oath a burden, I felt reassured that I too could live with it. So I turned back to Kelile with proud defiance and promised to follow their law.

If she was surprised, she didn't show it, but nodded grimly. "There is one more test, which is also our gift to you. Now listen as our sister Belatiuw recites our history."

The other older woman, who hadn't yet spoken, stepped forward. Her face was lined, her hair grey, and I bowed my head in automatic respect to one so ancient. In my mind, though, I did wonder whether having to listen to her speech was really my final test. Would I fail if I looked bored, or yawned? The story as it began was certainly familiar enough. Belatiuw spoke of Tiruneh who is eternal; and how He created the Father and Mother from His divine thought alone. And then Tsehay and Serkalem met together in the first marriage, and from Their union came all the spirits of the world, the winds and rocks and rivers and trees and grasses and insects and birds and animals, and last of all the People.

But then the story took a new turn, and I gasped in shock as Belatiuw told how not every spirit in the world came from the divine marriage. There were other, _older _powers in the world; and they hated the children of Tsehay and Serkalem and sought to corrupt or destroy them. Were they the first creations of Tiruneh, who defied His will and rebelled against Him, and so gave up their birthright? Or were they none of His seed at all, but invaders from Outside? The truth of this was hidden from us - but whatever it was, the thought of Gods able to defy Great Tiruneh Himself filled me with cold horror.

And yet there was still hope in the darkness. Tsehay the Burning Warrior fought gallantly to defend His children, and the heat of the Sun burned many of them and caused others to flee its deadly rays. Serkalem the Ever-Living sustained Her children, healing them and bringing them life, and creating places of safety where none of the Evil Ones could enter. The enemy Spirits themselves even aided the forces of Life, for in their lust for power they often turned on each other in betrayal, and the greatest of them were overthrown by secret murder and internecine war. In this battle the People stood proudly alongside their divine Parents, and learned their secrets and their magics, and used them in the fight. Victories were won, and many of the enemy Spirits were killed, or driven from the world, or imprisoned in deep pits in the earth.

But not all of them. The stronger ones survived, and their icy determination to destroy the People grew colder and more fierce. They brought forth children of their own, demon armies that fed upon humanity and corrupted it to swell their ranks. Against such a fierce foe the People could not stand; we were driven from our homes and slaughtered. Evil triumphed, seizing the entire world in its cold, frozen grip, and the pitiful survivors huddled in caves and hid from the bleak darkness outside. Tsehay despaired then, His shining power grown dim and weak from the many wounds He had suffered in our defence.

But His sister-wife did not surrender, but found new strength deep in the core of Her being. She went before Her father Tiruneh, and beseeched His help on behalf of Her children. She promised to pay whatever price Her father demanded; and He listened, and agreed.

And then Great Tiruneh departed from the world; and when He returned, He brought with Him the last and most terrible of His creations. This was Qasafi the Destroyer, the bringer of death. Absolute and pure; without pity or remorse. None could stand before It. The Evil Ones were hunted down and destroyed or cast out, one by one, and their armies consumed along with them. But Qasafi was ever-hungry; and when Its demon prey grew scare, It turned to devour the natural spirits of the world too: the children of Serkalem, even the People.

Tsehay was roused from His despair to defend His children, and took up His burning spear to fight this new foe. But He was still weak, and Qasafi knew His every move, countered His every attack, and slipped past His every defence. He would have died then, had not His sister-wife interposed Her body between them. The Destroyer brings death and does not fear it; but It shrank back from the divine love and power of life embodied in Serkalem. It allowed Her to take It, and chain It, and keep It safe.

And this was the boon Great Tiruneh gave His daughter, and the price She must pay. She alone can tame Qasafi, because she is Life when It is Death. She guards the Destroyer, to keep her People safe. But when the Evil Ones return and threaten us again, and the power of Tsehay and His mortal warriors does not suffice to protect us, then Serkalem must once again release Qasafi. The death and destruction It causes is Her responsibility, and only Her divine wisdom can determine whether the prize is worth the cost in blood and suffering.

I looked at Belatiuw, as she ended her tale, in new understanding; and she nodded in answer of my unspoken question. "We are Serkalem's heirs. We bear the power of Qasafi, and it is our privilege and burden to unleash Its power against the enemies of humanity."

Grandmother Heran added her voice. "You understand now, I trust, the need for secrecy? Some ambitious chieftain might seek to use our power in a petty feud against another clan. As for the ordinary people, they know we are there to protect them, and that we have our secrets and that we are strong. They respect us, and yes, some of them fear us. But if they knew the source of our power, that fear might turn to blind panic and rejection; we would be hated."

I looked back at her. "So you - we - keep this secret just so people will _like us _more?"

She didn't rise to my baiting, but quirked a small smile. "There's nothing wrong with wanting to be liked. But think, Hiywan. If we were hated, driven out, how could we fulfil our duty to protect the People?"

"I suppose so. But what if it's one of the Chosen themselves who turns evil? Tries to use the power for her own ends?"

"An excellent question." That was Kelile again, sounding coldly amused. "This is why we choose our new members so carefully, and watch them to make sure they are suitable. It is also why we bear the Sign of Tsehay, as a reminder of His suffering and sacrifice. We are not the only defenders of the People, and it is well to carry a sign of that with us at all times." She nodded at Haymanot and the other girl who stood behind me. "Hold her still."

Now what? I didn't struggle, this time, as my arms were gripped tightly, but I had a nasty feeling about what awaited me. I'd seen Haymanot remove her wrap that other night, after all; and my fears were confirmed as Kelile walked over and unfastened the knots of my own clothes. They fell to the floor about my feet, and I stood there naked and trying not to show any fear.

Heran then stepped up in Kelile's place, and gestured at my right hand. "The knife, please, Hiywan. You may have claimed it for your own, but it's still our sacred artefact and we need it now." I resisted the urge to cling to it, or fling it far away from me, and instead handed it over to her. That won me a small smile of approval from Grandmother before she stepped back again, giving the knife to Belatiuw.

"Hiywan, you are a woman of the People. You have accepted this status willingly, here before us all, is that not so?" I nodded as Belatiuw approached me. She pointed the dagger at my lower belly, tracing a circle around it then pressing the tip against my flesh. "You already bear Serkalem's Sign upon your body, do you not? You have shed your blood for Her?" I felt myself blush, but nodded again.

Now the dagger moved to my chest, between my breasts, pressing over my heart. "Are you ready to bear Tsehay's Sign too? Will you shed your blood for Him?"

I felt cold, suppressed a shiver. The hands on my arms tightened, as if they feared I would run away. I felt sure Kelile, at least, was expecting and half-hoping I would. I refused to give her the satisfaction, and this time replied aloud. "Yes, I will. Do it."

And then the knife was slicing into my flesh. It felt sharp as a new-cut chip of flint, and the blood ran down over my chest and belly and dripped onto the floor. The pain was hot and fierce, and yet bearable; perhaps it was the sharpness of the blade that cut my skin as though it were nothing but a leaf. Then Belatiuw made a second cut, from side to side, the arms of Tsehay's cross, and I gritted my teeth to keep from crying out. They had all gone through this before me; Haymanot bore the same mark on her own chest, and I wasn't going to be weaker than her.

Then Belatiuw stepped back, my blood painting the knife in her hand, and nodded in satisfaction. I felt relief; it was over, and it hadn't been so bad after all, and--

Kelile walked up to me then, cupping something in her hand, and suddenly slapped her palm against my chest. Liquid fire ran through my veins and turned my bones to ash, and I screamed my throat hoarse. I couldn't help it. She was grinding her hand against my open wound, driving whatever she had been holding deep into it. I felt like I was dying; the cave was spinning around me, a roaring in my ears like the distant echoes of voices. The two women behind me were holding me upright, and I fought desperately to resist the pain, fight it back, not surrender to the darkness. They had gone through this too; I wasn't going to shame myself, I wasn't, I wasn't.

Then Kelile withdrew her hand at last, and the naked raw agony subsided into "mere" hot, throbbing pain. I felt nauseous, and ashamed of my weakness. But then Grandmother approached me in turn, holding a clay bowl; and she carefully sluiced away the blood from my chest, and then gave me the rest of the water to drink. It tasted cool and fresh, with some indefinable hint of taste to it that made me wonder if there was magic here. The sickness in my stomach seemed to ease, at least. Heran smiled at me approvingly, then said, "Why don't we all sit down? Misgana, Haymanot, help your new sister put her clothes back on."

I accepted, with great gratitude, and as my companions sat down around me, Haymanot whispered to me once more, "Way to go, girl! When they did that to me I fainted clean away. They had to pour an entire waterskin over me to wake me up again!"

I blinked, a delighted grin spreading across my face despite the pain that still pulsed in my chest. Seriously, I'd withstood the agony better than she had? My feelings must have been written clearly in my expression, because she then jabbed me with her elbow and muttered, "Don't get cocky. I can still beat you in a fight."

But now the older women had settled themselves around me too, and I looked at their faces in the dancing light of the torches. They all smiled at me in a friendly way; even Kelile didn't look quite so hostile as she had before, and she nodded briefly to me. "Welcome, sister." The others chorused the words, "Welcome, sister. Welcome. Welcome." And then Grandmother Heran took the knife again, my blood still staining its blade, and handed it to me formally, hilt first.

"Welcome, Hiywan. Welcome, Guardian of the Five Trees Clan."


End file.
